


A battle of wits

by fueledbybooks



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-16
Updated: 2014-12-08
Packaged: 2018-02-13 09:33:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 41,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2145759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fueledbybooks/pseuds/fueledbybooks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma is a photographer on vacations in Ireland where she meets a particularly annoying musician. An unplanned journey that might end up in a solace they didn't know they were seeking. Will they be able to keep their walls up or will they finally surrender?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A trip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fanfic ever! Hope you like it :) If there's an error, please let me know.

“So… I’ve been thinking” Emma started to say sitting in the chair opposite to Regina, her boss. She had been delaying this conversation for a while, not knowing how she would take it. Not that Regina was a bad boss, demanding yes, but not bad. She had been the first person to want to hire her as a photographer professionally, she was thankful for the job, even if it wasn’t her dream job, it gave her money and took her closer to her goals of becoming a known photographer and doing several expositions all around the world and working with different people.

 

Regina looked up at her without raising her head from the paperwork on her desk, making her know that she had a part of her attention.  “Do you do that often?” Regina teased her with a blank face. Emma smiled nervously as she twisted her hands in her lap looking for the right words.

 

“I’ve been thinking about… taking a vacation…for a month…” She said slowly and never taking her eyes off her boss. Regina now stopped paying attention at the papers on her desk and looked at Emma, clasping her hands together, she said nothing for a couple of seconds.

“Is that so?” Regina said and smiled a little at Emma. She was screwed, she really was. She should have told her more… smoothly, damn her anxiety. Emma sighed and started to explain. “Yes, you know I have a big exposition, my biggest one yet, coming in like three months and I wanted to travel to get inspired and take photos. It’s the biggest opportunity I have to collect good material, if I don’t all my hard work will have been for nothing.” God, she was ranting. Shut up, Emma, shut up. Of course, she didn’t. “You know how much this means for me, Regina, I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me and my career, but I want to make a good job with this exposition. I need to make a good job, and excellent job even, and I-”

 

“Okay” Regina said and started working again on her papers, not even glancing at her again. Emma sat there frozen in place, trying to process this information.

“Okay? Okay what?” Emma asked, confused. Regina looked up with a hint of amusement on her face, “Emma, you’ve been working really hard this past 6 years, in fact, I don’t remember you taking vacations longer than a week ever since I’ve hired you. Besides you know how quiet this time of the month is for the magazine, you’ve already taken all the photos I needed for this month’s issue.” she said looking intently at her. “I think it’s healthy for you, you know, go out there, maybe have a social life”. Emma looked down a little embarrassed, she didn’t have many friends, that was true, the only people in her life were Mary Margaret, David and Ruby… and she didn’t even go out with them that much, she liked being alone in her house, watching movies with Henry, her cat, but she didn’t think Regina would notice her lack of social –and romantic– life.

“Where are you going?” Regina asked.

“I’ve been thinking about going on a little tour maybe, but mainly I wanted to visit Ireland.” Emma had been planning this trip since she had been offered the place in the exposition, which had been about 5 months ago, she had money saved –you know, the lack of a social life sure was good to your economy– , she had grabbed a world globe she had in her shelf and started rotating it quickly, closed her eyes and stopped it with one finger, letting randomness chose her destination. When she opened her eyes her finger had been right in the name Ireland, she had always wanted to go, so she was happy with the result.

“Oh, yes, lovely country. Well, I have work to do, so… see you in a month.”  Regina started working again, as Emma rises from her chair, thankful again for the not long goodbye, she hated goodbyes. “Thanks Regina, if you need anything call me, you know my-”

“Oh, Christ, go away please, I won’t die without you here, Emma. Go have a nice vacation and maybe meet a Irish man.”  Emma snorted at this, yeah, sure, because she was looking for a relationship. She didn’t need a man in her life; relationships were complicated, included pain and were useless. No, thank you.

 

Emma went to her little office to grab her things. Well, that had been easy, she sighted relaxed now that she had a month free. A month, she had never done this; she had always been hardworking and never took more than a few days in any of her jobs. She felt… nervous and happy.

“So, what did the Queen say?” She heard Ruby said at her back from the door of her office. Ruby, Regina’s assistant, had been the first person in the building to be nice to Emma, and the sassiness and good humour she always had felt refreshing to Emma, who was often accused of brooding by the girl with the wolfish smile.

Emma turned around to smile at her, “She said yes! I’m going on vacation” she said and did a little dance that involved moving her hands ridiculously whilst moving her hips from side to side, Ruby joined her dancing moves smoothly and they ended up laughing.

“Okay, I have to go, little wolf. I have a plane ticket to buy and a suitcase to pack. I might as well leave as soon as I can.”

“Take me!” Ruby said as she faked a sob and clinged to Emma’s waist, which was weird because of the height difference she had with those high heels she always used, Emma usually asked herself if Ruby slept with heels on. She patted the girl’s back as if to reassure her.

“Sure, think you can fit in my suitcase?” Ruby snorted and was about to say something to her but was interrupted by the sound of Regina’s voice calling her from her office.

Ruby made a face, “Duty calls, but Emma…” Ruby’s expression softened and she smiled warmly at her. “Have fun, okay? Don’t just work and take pictures, make sure to relax too. Have a good trip, I expect daily updates, you little skank” She winked at Emma as she laughed and left the office to attend Regina.

 

Emma left the building with a smile on her face and took a cab. When she arrived to her apartment she was received by Henry, who started meowing as soon as he saw her.

“Hello there, big boy. Did you miss me? I know I missed you.” She picked him up and started rubbing his back as he started purring and licked her hand. She was certain that if soulmates existed… this cat was hers. She had had him for 4 years now and they were inseparable.

She had found him in her doorstep one rainy day, he was just a kitty and as soon as she saw him with his dark hair and those big eyes she knew she had to keep him, so she patiently lured him into the home, he was scared but soon he was rubbing himself against Emma’s legs.

 

She settled in front of her computer as she petted Henry in her lap and started looking for a flight to book. After a little research she found a flight that leaves tomorrow morning, at 5am. She booked it and was printing the ticket info when her phone ringed.

“Emma! Ruby told me you got you vacations” Mary Margaret said as soon as Emma picked up the phone.

“Oh, yeah, I have just booked a flight, I was going to call you.” She said.

“I’m so happy for you; you really deserve it, Emms. Do you need me to take care of Henry?” Mary Margaret asked and Emma smiled because somehow this short-haired fairy godmother always knew what Emma need, even if she herself didn’t at the time.

“Mary Margaret, that would be so kind of you, I wanted to ask you that. Sorry for the short notice, tho. I just feel the need to go away for a while, you know?” Emma explained. She really needed that, she had this weird feeling that Ireland was holding some great things.

“I know, Emma. Remember I’ve been pushing you to take some vacations for about 3 years. The only holidays you took were about for a week and it was mostly because you were sick. I’m really glad you’re doing this, you need it. Plus, you know how much David and I love Henry, if you don’t take care we  might even keep him” Mary Margaret laughed as Emma started threatening her that if she didn’t gave Henry back she would have to stop baking David the cookies he liked and Mary Margaret would have to face a very angry David.

After hanging up with Mary Margaret and arranging for them to pick her up tomorrow –She said no at first, but her friend wouldn’t have it any other way– Emma  placed the suitcase in her bed and started packing her clothes, suddenly Henry climbed and packed himself in the suitcase, she laughed and put him in the floor again.

“Sorry pal, you can’t come with me this time. Mamma needs solo time” she petted his head and kept packing her clothes. After packing her clothes she began packing her cameras in her special bag, she took her Canon with her 18-200mm and 18mm lens, besides that, she packed her old but favourite Pentax analogic camera.

Having packed all she needed, she felt a rush of anxiety and adrenaline about this trip. She really hoped she would capture good material for her exposition, she had to.

The clock showed it was almost midnight so she finished accommodating everything and went to bed, snuggled next to Henry, like every night.

She fell asleep slowly into nothingness.

 

* * *

 

When they arrived at the airport Emma was nervous, she wasn’t exactly a fan of flying.

“Are you ready to do this?” David asked her as he wrapped an arm on her shoulders.

“Hell yes, I’m not going to see your annoying face for like a month, I want to escape now.” She mocked him, which won her a hair ruffle. “You won’t be able to escape me for long enough, kiddo.” He said and smiled at her. “Okay, now go, be free, fly little bird, spread your wings.” He spreaded his arms and she started laughing.

“Oh God, David.” Mary Margaret said but she was laughing too.

“Okay, birdies, it’s my time to flee. You know I hate goodbyes so, Mary Margaret no tears.”

Mary Margaret looked at her, smiled and nodded even thought her eyes were starting to get shiny, she was very sensitive when she wanted to.

Emma hugged quickly both of them and thanked the couple for taking care of Henry, who had ignored her as she left the apartment, apparently hurt because she wasn’t taking him with her.

She sighted as she went through security, a few unwanted memories coming alive, which she soon buried deep within her. You don’t need this, focus. She thought to herself.

 

Soon she was boarding the plane to Ireland, hugging her camera bag to her chest as the plane started to fly, her least favourite moment of the process.

 

When she arrived to Dublin she felt a little lost and anxious, but she found a cab and gave him the directions to the hotel she was staying in. Emma controlled her uneven breathing as she looked out the window; already a small smile forming in her lips, she had made it.

 

After registering in her hotel, she left her things in her room and decided to take a walk around to find a place to eat. She got directions from the receptionist  and started walking with one hand on the strap of her camera bag, having decided at the last minute to take her canon with her, just in case.

 

She begin walking through a park nearby, kinda following the direction she had been given, kinda getting lost in the oh-so-green trees of this beautiful place. She took her Canon out –thank God she had grabbed it– and started taking a few pictures, measuring the light and changing the settings of her camera to adjust.

She kept walking stopping a few times to take pictures, there was a little bridge in the park that she decided would be a perfect place for a photoshoot.

Her stomach was making some noises so she started walking towards the restaurant she had been recommended, a little further in front of her there was a little group of people standing and watching something, as she got closer, she heard music, a simple melody but the voice of the singer captured her and she didn’t even notice as she walked closer and closer to the source of the sound.

When she reached the circle of people, she froze in place, in front of her was a dark haired man strumming his guitar passionately and singing a song she didn’t know. She stood there, not moving an inch as she listened the man sing, there was something so soothing in his voice.

Without noticing she had raised her camera, wishing she could capture in a photo the cadence of his voice and the calmness it made her feel, when she was about to take the photo, he looked at her and smiled a little at the camera, she took two more photos of him when he closed his eyes, getting lost in the music he was playing.

 

When he ended the song, the few people that were there started clapping, including herself.

That’s when he looked at her, and she realised he was the owner of the bluest eyes she had ever seen, those eyes that were now piercing her. He smirked at her, a smirk that made her alarms beep furiously screaming “Dangerously sexy person ahead, do not approach’, he winked in her direction and unable to help herself small smile grew on her face, her heartbeat stupidly rising. She had to get out of there. Now.

 

She began walking to the restaurant, which she found without problems. She ate and soon forgot about the man in the park, or so she thought as she hummed absent-mindedly the song she heard him sing.

 

That night she dreamt of Henry, that now had a bright pair of sky blue eyes.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews, kudos, comments, anything is welcome :)


	2. Insomnia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started writing it and i couldn't wait to share it. Hope you like it.  
> As usual, if there's an error, let me know.

Killian sighted as he entered the Jolly Roger studios, he had slept three hours because his insomnia decided it was a good time to show and make him restless. He was used to not sleeping much,  he remembered a long time ago when he had been able to sleep for hours and hours, now he didn’t even reached the eight hours straight per day. He shook his head, trying to wake up, still in a daze. God, he needed a coffee he thought as he groaned a little.

Lucky for him today he had to record only a few things with the band he was working with, he was glad this record was finally coming to an end –at least his part– he had hated working with this band, “The Janos”, they gave him a bad vibe with their comments and their stares. Especially the vocalist Tamara and the bassist Greg, he was actually proud of himself for not kicking them out of the studio, he had repeated himself like a mantra every day that they were bringing money… money they needed.

 

“Hey Killian. Well, not to make you feel bad or anything, but you look awful. You want me to make you a coffee?” Ariel said from her desk, she was the all-mighty administrative part of the studio, without her he was sure they would have gone bankrupt years ago.

He smiled at her warmly and reached to give her a short hug; “Ariel, just the word coffee already makes me happy. You’re a darling” he said and started raising a little his voice so the black haired man a couple of feet away could hear “Are you sure you still don’t want to run away and marry me? I’m much better looking and charming that the ugly crustacean you have as a boyfriend” Ariel started laughing as Eric threw Killian a ball of paper. “Sorry man, you’ll have to deal with the ugly crustacean getting the amazing girl.” Eric said and placed a kiss in Ariel’s forehead. They were the kind of couple that made Killian wish he still believed in love.

He smiled at them, “You win this time, crab.” He told Eric as he pointed at him with the hand that wasn’t holding his guitar. “Duty calls. Ariel, lass, will you please be so kind to bring some coffee for me to studio B? I have to check everything before The Satans appear” She made a face, she didn’t like them either.

“Sure, Killian, coffee coming right up.” He left them with a little wave as he started walking towards the studio where he had to check the set up for the day.

After checking everything and setting a couple more microphones for the vocalist and drummer, he sat and relaxed for a little while, grabbing his guitar and playing a few of lazy chords, a melody he had had in mind for a little while now, just as he was really getting into it the band entered the studio, he sighed lightly and left the guitar in his case.

“Hello everyone.” He cordially said and they barely paid him attention. Money, Killian, they bring money, he thought.

“Hey, you, this is not the microphone I wanted.” Tamara said and put her hand in her hips, staring at him intently. What was wrong with the lass? Didn’t her parents teach her about manners?

“First of all, good morning. Second of all, what are you talking about? You never said you had a preference about microphones, what’s wrong with this one?” Killian asked as he scratched his scruff, calming himself.

“Whatever, I wanted the ribbon microphone.” She kept the attitude going, she had confidence, he will give her that.  “A ribbon microphone? Is that so? And when did you say you wanted one? Because I don’t recall you telling me anything about microphones the first day I asked if you had any preferences.”  He stared at her unflinchingly. He really needed a coffee if he was not to murder anyone.

“And can’t you get me one now?” Tamara asked crossing her arms across her chest.

Killian pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, maybe it was time to change his mantra to “thou shalt not kill”

“Aye, your highness. But maybe next time you will let me know before so we won’t lose time. And the ribbon microphone is extra.” He smiled coldly at her and turned around to leave and get the dammed microphone.

With the microphone in his hands he went to Ariel’s desk; “Ariel, if you don’t want to call in the near future to the mob to clean 5 bodies… could I please, please, please get some coffee?” He really was tired, and annoyed. Today was so not his day. Ariel smiled at him and went to the kitchen “I was just about to bring it to you” she said.

“Thank you, A” he said and went to face off the rest of the day ahead of him hoping it wouldn’t get much worse.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The session with the band ended up with almost everything recorded thankfully, even if Killian had now a killer headache. He grabbed his guitar and walked out of the studio, closing it, since no more reservations had been made.

“Hey, Killy, Killy” Robin’s voice singed behind his back as he closed the door.

“How many times do I have to tell you to not call me Killy, twat?” he answered the co-owner of Jolly Roger Studios. Robin and he went way back, they had studied sound engineering at the same place and had rather similar ambitions, so as they grew up they started dreaming about having a studio of their own. Months later they founded the Jolly Roger studios that now had slip up in two, the Boston and the Dublin branch. Robin took over the Dublin branch and Killian took the Boston one. This was actually Killian’s idea; he had been in the search for an excuse to move from Dublin for a while. They now took turns, sometimes Killian travelled to Dublin and sometimes Robin travelled to Boston. It was going smoothly for now, step by step making their dream bigger.

“I believe you have told me about a hundred times, but see, I don’t really care.” Robin laughed and Killian punched him lightly in the shoulder. “Asshole” he said.

“So… heard you had a mild crisis with the band” Robin asked smiling.

“Mild crisis? Those stupid folks don’t know a thing about good form, I’m telling you. You should be giving me a prize for the amount of self-control it took for me not to kill them”

“Yeah, Ariel told me you looked a little angry today… and tired. Are you okay? Wanna go to the bar and get a drink?” There was a hint of concern in Robin’s voice that made Killian uncomfortable, his best friend was still concerned he would close off into depression like he did when Milah died. Her name made Killian cringle faintly, even after three years she still had that power over him.

“No, thanks bro. I think I’m gonna go to the park for a little while and blow off some steam.”

“Okay, take care Killy”

“Don’t make me blow off my anger issues with you, mate" Killian warned him and smiled as he left to the park.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The park on the way to his house was his sacred place, Killian had made a habit of playing some music in streets, parks and the underground, anywhere he felt comfortable enough. This activity had helped him cope with all his problems, just going outside and play music, it didn’t even matter if he was heard sometimes –of course, it was nice to get and extra penny or some appreciation for his songs– he would just grab his guitar and let his mind wander away with the melody.

He chose a spot close to the bridge that day, putting his guitar over his shoulders and he started playing his first song, already feeling his muscles relax off the tension from the morning.

 

 _A million miles away_  
your signal in the distance   
to whom it may concern   
I think I lost my way   
getting good at starting over   
every time that I return 

The way his fingers slided across the guitar strings was familiar and he closed his eyes. He had always loved music, always felt intrigued how a few chords and words could change you, make you tick differently. With music he had found answers, solace, release to the emotions he often found so hard to talk about. Music was his religion, simple.

He finished that song and instantly started another one, opening his eyes he realised now that a little crowd had gathered around him, he smiled to himself, another characteristic of music he loved, the way it connected people somehow.

 

He kept playing songs for a long time, people coming and going, some smiling at him, some leaving him money, some just stared at him and then walked away.

He decided to play two songs more and then go. He looked up and found someone was taking a photo of him, he smile a little, letting his charms flow with the song.

Closing his eyes, Killian enjoyed the last part of the song before ending it slowly, as the little crowd started clapping. He looked around, smiling and then his eyes found the girl that had taken his picture. Green eyes stared at him as she clapped, she was pretty, he thought. He smirked at her, wanting to see how she would react, he tended to do stuff like this to see how people acted, you could learn a lot about them doing it. She smiled shyly back and he felt his heartbeat falter a little.  
Oh, come on, Jones, a couple of tits with green eyes and you start drooling? Get over it. Killian winked at her, teasing her further to also distract himself, but her smiled vanished from her face and she started walking  away. Weird, he felt a tingle of recognition in the way her smile disappeared, he scratched the place behind his ear with a frown growing in his face.

 

After packing again his guitar, he walked slowly home, admitting to himself a little that he had missed Ireland, he had been here most of his life but as much as he missed it, Boston was his home now, and he wouldn’t change it, he had welcomed the change, he had decided to never look back choosing his sanity over his nostalgia.

Opening the door to his apartment, he settled his guitar in the back of the couch as he went to the kitchen to grab some lunch.

He settled himself in the couch and was about to start eating when his phone ringed. He sighted and picked it up.

“Jones here.”

“So responsible and grown up, little bro. What happened to the ‘what’s up’?” his brother, Liam, joked at the end of the line.

“Well, some of us have to grow up sometimes, you know. I’m sure you won’t have any problems being the immature one now.” He teased and heard Liam’s laugh through the phone.

“Still have you sharp wit, I approve. And talking about approving, I’m going to Dublin tonight, care to share a drink with me tonight at the bar? You can invite your delinquent best friend Robin if you want.”

“You’re coming here? Of course i’ll bring my delinquent friend, I know about your love affair, you don’t have to keep hiding it from me, you know? I will love you both no matter what.”

“Jha, very funny, Killy” Killian sighted as the sound of that stupid nickname. His brother too?  “Okay, I’ll meet you guys at eight o’clock there. See ya, punk” Liam said and ended the call.

 

Killian finished his meal and decided to rest till he had to go meet Liam and Robin at the bar.

Hi didn’t even bothered going to the bed, he laid in the couch closing his eyes and before he knew it he was dreaming.

 

_“I’m sorry, Killian. You know I love you but-” Milah said, with unshed tears in her eyes._

_“But what? You love me, I love you. I love you so much, Milah, please, don’t let him get to you.” He begged her, holding her hands in his. She looked so stressed and helpless, he wanted to hold her in his arms and take her pain away kiss by kiss._

_“You don’t know him, Killian. You don’t” she said and she started walking backwards, to his horror, he realised they were nearby a cliff and she was walking absently towards it, just when her named crossed his lips, he saw her fall to the abyss…_

Killian woke up startled and sweaty, his heart beating erratically against his chest. He was no stranger to nightmares, especially ones with… her. But it still affected him, he turned around and saw the clock, seven o’clock, he better hurried if he wanted to make it in time to the bar. Still in a daze, he got up to take a shower hoping to wipe away the remains of the nightmare with the water.

 

* * *

 

 

When he arrived at the bar, Robin and Liam were already chatting cheerfully and drinking beers.

“Finally, dude. Where were you?” Robin said as he saw him.

Killian took off his coat and sat down next to Liam. “Sorry, guys, I overslept.” He slapped his hand across his brother’s back, smiling, the last time he had saw him had been about two months ago. “How are you doing, bro? What brings you to Dublin?” Killian asked and then made a sign to the waitress to bring him a beer.

“Well, now that you’re here I can finally spill it out…” Liam said and suddenly his face wasn’t big enough to hold the gigantic smile that appeared on his lips. “I asked Emilie to marry me, and she said yes.” 

“No way” said Robin from the opposite side of the table.

“Of course she said yes, who can resist the Jones charm?” Liam said, still smiling.

“Well, congratu-fucking-lations, bro. I was wondering when you would grow a pair and ask her, she’s a great person, you better take care of her.” Killian was a little stunned but still managed to hug his brother, he was happy for him nevertheless, it had been a long time coming, him and Emilie were high school sweethearts and never parted ways after that. More than 10 years they had been together. He touched his left ring finger, where an actual ring had been years ago and he felt his heart sink a little. What was going on with him today? He couldn’t stop thinking about her. He quickly composed his face in case any emotions had shown.

“Wait, does this mean we get to take you on a bachelor party?” Killian suddenly asked, a wild smirk spreading across his face.

“Oh, Killian, I like the way you think” Robin said and smiled to. Now Liam looked at both of them with eyes wide open.

“Should I be afraid?” he asked.

“Very.” Killian answered and took a sip of his beer innocently looking at his brother who finished his drink in a one shot.

The rest of the evening flowed with easiness and as Killian returned home, he felt a little of the burden of his shoulders rise.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The first rays of the sun of Sunday started leaking through the window, tickling his face. Well, at least he had been able to sleep something; thankfully there had been no nightmares.

Knowing he wouldn’t be getting more sleep, he decided to go to the park to take a walk and watch the sunrise.

 

The park was deserted, obviously, who would be up this early? Only insomniacs like him, and most of them wouldn’t go out in the chill of the morning to the park. He started walking to the bridge. With one hand on the border of it, he stopped in the centre, looking to the little water that went bellow the bridge and the colour the sunrise gave it. He stood there till the sun had fully risen and then started walking backwards a little, and before he had time to turn around, he collapsed against something that yelped a little, a woman, he grabbed both her arms just before she started falling to the ground.

 

“Shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you-” he looked up to the woman’s face and he recognized her, camera girl from yesterday. Her green eyes were wide and so close he could see the little pecks of gold in her irises.  “You have gold in your eyes.” He muttered stupidly at her.

“Ummm, yes, now, can you please give me back my personal space?” She said raising her brows a little. He let her go suddenly as he realised he had kept a hold of her. She stepped back a few steps and smoothed her clothes a little, even if they were a hoodie and a pair of jeans.

 

“I recognize you…” he started saying as she looked to her left, as if wanting to go away. “You’re camera girl. You took a photo of me yesterday, while I was playing my guitar.”

Killian looked at her as she raised a curious eyebrow.

 

“Camera girl? Seriously?” she asked, crossing her arms across her chest as if the nickname offended her somehow. Killian smiled a little and took a step towards her.

“Yeah, well, I should say Camera woman now that I’m looking at you with more attention” He smirked as he said that, her eyes widening almost imperceptibly before rolling her eyes.

 

“Very smooth, Romeo. I’m going now” Camera girl said and rotated her body to keep walking.

“I bet you have my photo on you bedside table and look at it every night before you go to sleep.” He said a little louder. He didn’t know why, but he was enjoying just too much teasing her. He saw her step falter and her shoulder tense. A smirk started appearing on his face as she turned around.

 

“Am I that transparent? Oh, guitar boy, yes. I want you so badly” her voice dripped sarcasm as she talked, but his grin kept growing. “I even masturbate to your photo, you have no idea.” He choked on his own saliva surprised and she smiled a little, triumphantly.

“You’re feisty, I love that in a woman” He said when he recovered and took a step towards her.

“You’re a self-confident asshole, I hate that in a man” She replied with a smile, turned around and kept walking.

“You know, is a shame I don’t have your picture to return the favour. I guess my imagination would have to suffice” he raised his voice so the already far away camera girl could hear him, he saw her raise her right hand with only her middle finger showing, she didn’t even turned around, she just kept walking.

He started laughing, she really was feisty. Hopefully he would have the opportunity to tease her again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews, opinions, kudos, anything is welcomed :)


	3. The Pirates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments and kudos. You are awesome :)

“What the hell were you thinking, Emma? ‘I even masturbate to your photo’ oh yeah, great come back you moron.” Emma chastised herself as she kept walking away of the stupid, arrogant, sexy asshole. Damn him. She wasn’t always so forward and sarcastic, but he had somehow pushed all her buttons with that smirk in his face. God, he had been frustrating. How could it be that at 6am, of all people, he had to meet him? And how come he was an asshole? He seemed so… well, not an asshole when she saw him yesterday playing his guitar in the same park. But then again, it wouldn’t be the first time Emma thought someone was something that they were not, she thought with bitterness. Why did her insomnia had to wake her up today?

 

Emma kept walking in the park, lost in her thoughts. She had barely slept the night before. Well maybe the guitar boy’s eyes were the problem, Emma thought trying to blame something, but she knew that the only person she could blame for her awful sleeping problems had disappeared a long time ago, leaving her behind bars.

She put a hand to her belly, remembering the life that once begin to grow in her and had lost. Sometimes she just  laid and thought what would her life had been if she hadn’t met Neal, but she rapidly put those questions aside, the damage had been done, she was in a better place now.

 

Dublin was rather astonishing, even so early. Emma walked a couple of blocks looking for a coffee shop, she needed coffee. She found a little place not far from the park and sat in a table by the window, taking out her cell phone. It was past midnight in Boston with the time difference, but she sent Mary Margaret and Ruby a message saying she had arrived okay and she was having coffee.

 

She took her laptop out of her backpack and turned it on, also grabbing the memory card from her Canon, so she could transfer the photos she had taken. She took a sip of her coffee and hummed to herself as she waited for the photos to copy. When the task was finished, she started watching them, deleting the few she didn’t like and marking other ones that could possibly go to the exposition.

She was so distracted that she actually was surprised when the photo of a guitar boy popped up in her laptop. Of course, the surprise lasted only a few seconds only to be replaced by anger. She sighted frustrated and selected the five photos –five! She had five photos of the bastard– angrily she deleted them, not even watching them.

 

Moron.

 

* * *

 

 

After having coffee, she came back to her hotel. She had chosen a modest hotel with a comunitary kitchen in the first floor in case someone wanted to cook and you had a mini fridge in each room. The view from her balcony was also breath taking, she was on a third floor, but it was just enough to look outside and see a beautiful landscape.

She grabbed a book and sat on one of the chairs in the balcony, enjoying the warmth of the sun hitting her face. Most people could not stand being on vacations alone, but not Emma, she loved it. Dictating her own rhythm, not having to wait up for anybody and going wherever she wanted. She could take her time in one spot taking one hundred pictures till the photo came out perfect and nobody would bother her.  She was used to doing everything alone, to the point it was hard for her to work with other people. Even liking being alone, Emma didn’t like feeling lonely. And that’s where she had problems at first, relationships weren’t her thing, so she fixed that by only having sex with guys one night, and leaving soon after her necessities were satisfied. Emma was comfortable that way, no pain, no stress, no nothing… she preferred her life Drama-free.

 

 

Somewhere around past noon her phone ringed to the beat of “She wolf”, the ringtone Ruby had set for herself one day in Emma’s phone.

“Well, well, well. To what do i owe the honor, Highness? It must be like 7 am there” Emma said as a hello.

A loud yawn was heard from the other line, “I’m awake just to insult you for not giving me details about everything. One day, Emma, one day and you’re already not doing your homework.” The fake disappointment made Emma laugh. “Don’t you dare laugh at me, young lady!” Ruby said, but she ended up laughing too.

“Sorry Ruby, I was too preoccupied enjoying my vacations.” Emma said.

“Who cares about your vacations? The important part here is me having vacations through you, so tell me everything.” She said.

Emma started telling her everything, knowing Ruby wouldn’t set for anything less, giving her specific details about her first day in Dublin… including the Mr-I’m-so-awesome-look-at-me incident.

“Wait, wait, wait. Emma, first day in Dublin and already catching glances, that’s my girl. I’m so proud of that sexy ass of yours. Now….” Ruby paused as she always did when she wanted to create suspense “Dear Emma… YOU’RE SENDING ME EVERY PICTURE YOU HAVE OF THIS GUY OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL FOR MONTHS.” Emma had to separate her cell phone far from her ear because of the yelling.

“I might have deleted them?...”  She said slowly.

“What?! Undelete them, make them appear, I don’t you. You have 5 seconds.”  Ruby said in a tone that Emma knew meant she wouldn’t back down until she had what she wanted.  She sighted and went to her laptop that laid in her hotel bed, she had deleted the photos but she hadn’t cleaned the recycle bin, thankfully for her, because if not Ruby would indeed make her life a living hell, she was good and knew what made Emma nervous.  She selected the photos she had and sent them to Ruby’s email.

“Done, I sent them to your email.” There was noise on the other line and Emma knew Ruby was probably running to her computer right about now. After a few typing noises she heard Ruby hum to herself.

“Well, well, well… I’d so tap that. Look at those eyes, Emms, damn. And those biceps, now that’s a fine specimen of human.” Ruby said.

“Yeah, I suppose. Doesn’t make him less of an asshole” She replied while watching his photos on her computer, he really was gorgeous. Why do all the cute guys have to be assholes? Emma thought.

“You say that but I can hear your desire for our guitar boy here, I can’t blame you, I’m only looking at his photos and I’m drooling all over my keyboard” Ruby laughed. “You’re going to cross paths with him again, I’m telling you Emma, I can feel it. Guitar boy and Emma, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I”

“Okay, enough” Emma cut her and Ruby bursted laughing. “I’m really hoping you’re wrong, he was a moron when I bumped into him.”

“If you say so, sweetie. I have to leave you if I want to arrive presentable to work, you know, there are people that still have to work. I already miss you in the office, little E. Talk to you soon, don’t forget to hand in your homework” Ruby said and hang up.

Emma left the cell phone in her bed and kept staring at the photos he had taken of guitar boy, there was one she really liked, he had his eyes closed in concentration , his face constricted deep in emotion and the light of noon hit him just right making the atmosphere warm and inviting, but she deleted them again, with a frown.

Emma closed her laptop, abruptly, vanishing any thoughts of him from her mind.

 

 

* * *

 

 

She was tired, after having lunch she decided to go to Kilmainham Gaol that was about an hour or two away from her hotel, she asked for directions and took the bus.

Needless to say, she was breathless when she arrived, the energy of the place was so intense, it looked more like a dark palace than a jail. I wish my jail would’ve been like this, Emma thought bitterly.

She spent the whole afternoon taking pictures, and she also took one with her phone and sent it to Ruby who replied “Take me there” and a sad face.

The bus back to the hotel had a few people and she found herself staring out the window and smiling. It was a lovely day, the sun warmed her face and she felt she was making progress with her photos, she had taken some pretty good one today, and even started writing some ideas for the exposition.

When she reached her room she went straight to the bathroom to have shower, the water relaxing her shoulders and legs that were a little sore for walking all day.

Shutting the water down and covering herself in a robe she laid in bed, wondering where she could go tonight, she was tired but not exhausted, besides, she didn’t want to go to sleep early, because she knew she would wake up before sunset due to her stupid sleeping patterns.

 

Making the decision to go to a bar and have a drink, she took a little black dress she had packed, combining it with a flannel and her favourite boots, feeling more comfortable with herself she then painted her lips red and walked out the door.

The air was a little cooler now that the sun was gone but the flannel helped as she walked across the park to the blocks where she had seen several bar banners.

If her love for Boston hadn’t been so big, she would be thinking about moving to Dublin, it was such a lovely place. Emma smiled as she reached the bar signs, looking inside a few till she saw one that looked promising, it was called Storybrooke.

The place wasn’t crowded, but there were quite a few people. Emma walked to the bar as she looked at her surroundings, the bar themed with parts of old ships, even the bartenders had black t-shirts that displayed a skull with crossed bones in the middle with the name of the bar.

“Hi, what can I get you?” The bartender asked at her and froze, looking at her intently and the corner of his mouth twitched with a smile.

Emma smiled back, the bartender was pretty, brown eyes and curly brown hair with a gentle smile that grew when he saw she smiled back.

“Can I please get a gin with coke?” She said and he started making the drink.

“You’re not from around here, are you? I think I would’ve remember you” He said and he made the drink, looking at her a little and getting back to his task.

“No, I’m just here in vacations.” She replied.

“Oh, for how long?” His interest picked with the new information.

“For like a month or less I still don’t know if I’m going to go somewhere else” Emma told him. “I’m Emma, by the way” she told him and offered him her hand across the bar. He took it and smiled at her warmly.

“I’m Graham. Here’s your drink. I have to keep working, but it was nice meeting you, Emma. Hope you come back to this bar soon” he winked at her and she giggled, taking her drink with hers.

She turned around and collided with someone almost spilling her drink on her dress, only getting a few drops on her flannel.  She looked and felt her heart skip a beat, guitar boy was looking at her, surprised but with a smirk growing on his face.

“Well, love, we have to stop meeting like this, don’t you think?” he told her, the smug bastard.

Emma groaned leaning her head back. “Ugh, it had to be you. Why?”

“Hey this time you collided against me, I was just standing here, camera girl” He said pointing at her with his index finger.

She scowled at him. “You almost spilled my drink in my dress.” Emma said.

He took a step closer to her, invading her personal space. “Well, I can help you with the almost. I’d like to see you all wet because of me.” He moved his eyebrows up and down and she put a hand on his chest, closing the distance between them bringing her mouth close to his ear.

“You would like to see that, do you?” she took a step back to see his face, his smirk faltering a little but containing himself and smiling bigger to her. “What a shame that I’m leaving.” She told him, smiled and was about to go when she someone approached them.

“Emma Swan?” a guy next to guitar boy said.

“Swan?” Guitar boy said, crossing his arms across his chest, lifting a brow and looking at her, she groaned inwardly, great, now he knew her name.

“Yes… I’m sorry, do we know each other?” she asked to the guy, smiling a little.

“I went to the course you gave last year of photography. I’m Robin, we talked when the course ended.” Robin offered his hand and Emma remembered him, they had talked a while about photography and how that could be applied to music videos.

“Oh yeah, I remember you, you’re the guy that asked about the music videos. How did that go?” She asked, completely ignoring the curious look guitar boy was giving her.

“Well, It didn’t.” Robin laughed a little. “We didn’t have the opportunity to make one. Another time, I’m sure…” He then looked at guitar boy, who was still staring at Emma. “Do you know my friend, Killian?” Robin asked looking at her.

“I had the pleasure to meet him the other day, yes.” She lifted an eyebrow in his direction and he scratched behind his ear all of a sudden seeming a little embarrassed.

“Uh oh, you basket case, what did you do? I can’t leave you alone a minute and you already cause trouble” Robin looked at guitar boy as if he was talking to his little child, he glared at Robin. Killian was about to say something but she interrupted him.

“He’s quite smug, guitar boy here. But nothing I can’t handle.” She smiled at Robin.

“The poor guy can’t control himself, I’ve tried training him several times.” Robin answered and patted Killian in the back. “But I’m sure you can handle him just fine.”

“I’m right here, you ass. Come on, Swan, I wasn’t that bad, was I?” Killian finally talked.

Emma stared at him, noticing that behind the confident mask, he was a little anxious, Well, well, she was surprised.

“As I said, nothing I couldn’t handle, big boy.” She smiled in his direction and he returned the smile.

“Hey, would you like to join us?” Robin asked suddenly touching her shoulder a little. She stilled slightly, uncomfortable and looked up finding Killian looking at her and then at Robin. Grabbing his arm, he took it off Emma’s.

“Robin, pal, invading personal space is my move, I don’t like competence. You know? Besides, I’m sure she bites and probably smells fear” He said whispering the last part and then winked at her.

She glared at him but smiled a little, grateful for his interference, she would never admit it, thought.

“And you stink of it, guitar boy.” Emma said.

“Oh, on the contrary, love.” He leaned a little closer to her. “I love a challenge.”

They stared at each other a little and Robin broke the spell cleaning his throat. Emma looked at him, a little startled. She hadn’t meant to stare.

“Join us?” He said. “We’re on the booth right there.”

“Okay” Emma said shyly and the three of them seated in a rounded booth in a corner of the bar.

 

“So, Emma, what brings you to Dublin?” Robin asked and took a sip of his beer.

“Well, I’m on a kind of vacations, I have an exposition coming and I wanted to find inspiration… and escape Boston a little”

“Oh, you’re from Boston?” Killian asked with his eyes wide.

“Yeah, why?” Emma asked drinking her Gin and coke.

“I’m live in Boston, too. I run the branch of the Jolly Roger Studios, don’t know if you ever heard from them.” He said, rotating the can of beer in his hands.

“Wait, you run that studio? Yeah, I know it, my boss once wanted me to make a photoshoot in that studio for the magazine, but she changed her mind about the theme and I ended up taking photographs in a supermarket.” She lifted her eyebrows and Killian chuckled.

“That’s a pity, I’m not against having models in my studio once in a while” he said, smirking.

“I’m sure.” She replied smiling.

“How long will you be staying?” Robin asked.

“About a month or less, I really don’t know. It depends in what Dublin has to offer to me.”  Emma answered.

“Oh, Dublin is great. If you ever get bored I’m sure Killian can work as your tour guide.” Robin smiled innocently but the tone was anything but.

Killian chocked in his beer “Why do I have to tour guide the camera girl? I told you, man, I’m sure she bites.”

“Oh, shut up, I’m sure you’re into it, twat.” Robin replied and Emma started laughing. “Look at her, she’s incapable of hurting a fly.” Robin pointed at the still laughing Emma.

Killian looked at her and tried to hide a smile “Yeah sure, never judge a book by its cover, even if its cover is a hot blonde.” He said.

Emma stopped laughing “Was that a compliment, guitar boy? I can’t believe it” she told him, amused and a little –just a little– happy he said that.

“Don’t get used to it, Camera girl” He replied not looking at her as he finished his beer.

 

“Emma, I don’t know if you’re up to it, as you’re in vacations but…” Robin started, “Would you be interested in a micro job? It would be a couple of hours tops. We’re setting a website for the studio and we need photos of it, would you be up to it?” He asked nicely. Emma thought a bit about it, Robin was nice and it would be a few extra bucks, besides who knew? Maybe she could use one of the photos for her exposition.

“Leave her alone, Robin, she’s on vacations, if I were her I wouldn’t want to see your face more than once in my vacations, it could ruin her day.” Killian teased and it won him a punch in his shoulder.

“No, it’s okay… I’ll do it. Maybe I can get a few pictures for my exposition, who knows?” Emma said and finished her drink.

“You’re an angel, Emma. Whenever you want you can come to our studios and we can arrange the prize there, what do you think?” Robin said. “Here, have my card, it has my cell phone and the address of the studio. You are welcome to come by anytime” he smiled at her and she grabbed the, the logo of the studio was a pirate ship.

She laughed a little “What is it with Irish people and pirates?” she asked them

“Well I’m personally  inspired by them, they were free, lived by their own rules and took what they wanted without hesitations” He looked at her intently, his stare piercing through her. She looked away from his intense blue eyes.

“Yes, that and that we Irish people love alcohol of all kind, like the pirates” Robin said and they laughed.

“Well, I think I’m going to head to my hotel. Thank you, and I’ll contact you so we can coordinate when I can go to the studio, Robin.”

“Of course, Emma. Thank you, again” he said and shook her hand.

“I’m headed out too, man. I’ll walk with you, Swan, if you don’t mind” Killian said and started rising, she was about to say no, but she wouldn’t bulge, she could handle him, Emma was a big girl.

“Sure” she replied and they started walking towards the exit. He opened the door of the bar for her.

“Oh, guitar boy, now you’re a gentleman?” She teased.

“I’m always a gentleman, lass.” He replied with a smirk and put his hand on her lower back as she walked out of the bar, his warmth reaching her skin even through her clothes. He let her go quickly and she internally mourned the lost contact. Focus, Emma, Focus. Stop this madness. She thought.

“How are you enjoying Dublin so far, Swan?” Killian asked looking forward as they reached the park, they were walking lazily.

“It’s okay, so much green everywhere. Living in Boston sometimes I forget to go to parks and all that. Dublin is a great place, even with their annoying guitarists” she teased and Killian laughed.

“Oh yeah, those are terrible, but quite talented, I believe, especially one with blue eyes that sometimes plays here. He’s awesome” he said smiling at her.

She laughed and punched him lightly in the shoulder, he grabbed his arm as if she had hit him hard and smiled.

“You’re so self-confident, it’s disgusting” She told him.

“Liar, you love it.” Killian moved his eyebrows up and down invading a little her personal space as they kept walking.

“Sure, whatever makes you sleep at night, pal.” She snorted.

“I still don’t have your photo on my bedside table, so I’m finding it difficult to sleep” he pouted at her. Oh god, she groaned inwardly.

“Poor you” she told him. Not knowing what to answer to his stupid blue eyes.

He laughed at her. “Well, Swan, my place is that way, I’m afraid I’ll have to leave you here. Are you far from your hotel?”

“No, actually, its half a block there” She pointed in the direction.

“All right then, I guess I’ll be seeing you… Emma” Killian grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles never looking away from her eyes. She was transfixed, frozen in place by the odd gesture that she would relate more to the guitar boy in her pictures and not the smug bastard that talked to her that morning. He let go of her hand, winked at her and started walking in the opposite direction of her hotel. Emma watched him walk, still frozen, she shook her head and still in a daze she walked to her hotel.

 

Once in her room, she dropped into her bed, turning the laptop on… and undeleted his photos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews and comments make me happy and inspire my captain swan muse! :)  
> You can also spam me on tumblr (fueledbybookss.tumblr.com)


	4. Clouds

“Stop, stop, stop, stop. What are you doing? Listen to me, no pressure here, lass. You don’t have to get angry because this isn’t sounding like you wanted to, okay? Why don’t we take a break to relax and then keep recording?” Killian reassured the musicians from the Control Room, he could feel the tension building up. The day had started a little messed up, the guitarist had arrived late and the keyboard kept making a buzzing noise in the sound.

At least he was thankful to change the band, this one at least said hello when they entered to studio. He groaned inwardly when he remembered that The Janos were coming back this afternoon to record some last minute changes. Only thinking about it he wanted to lay in a fetal position and throw a tantrum till they went away. _And maybe one hot blonde can comfort you_ a voice in his head said. He face palmed himself for the stupid thought.

It had been a week since he last saw her, he went to the park almost every day in the hopes to tease her, but she didn’t appear. Not one pretty blonde hair of her head showed.

Killian sighted, it’s not like he was obsessed. He was intrigued by Emma; there was something in her eyes that were begging him to dig more about the topic. The way she could be so forward one minute, but when Robin touched her she flinched a little. He hadn’t been able to turn off the protective spark that flinch ignited. It was stupid to feel protective of someone you just met –especially if you loved to tease that someone– but he couldn’t help it, as he also couldn’t help the loud ringing in his head that screamed that he should turn off his feelings. Killian was aware he couldn’t, he had been down that path and it had been comforting being numb, but the darkness that had brought to his heart was heavy on his shoulders sometimes. That was a bottom he didn’t want to hit anytime soon.

“Emma” he whispered to himself while he tried to figure out the image he had of her.

 

“BOOOOOO!!!!!!!!” Robin screamed behind him, nearly giving him a heart attack, Killian jumped off his chair in astonishment and Robin was already crying of laughter. That bastard.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? You nearly killed me, you son of a bitch” Killian told him. He grabbed a pillow of the sofa nearby and started hitting Robin with it.

“Okay, okay, stop. Killian, stop. Parley, par-fucking-ley, bro.”  Robin screamed. 

Killian started laughing maniatically and then helped Robin get up.

“You need to mess with someone of you size, twat.”  He said and playfully touched his closed fist to Robin’s chin as if hitting him.

Robin snorted, “I was messing with someone shorter” he said and stood up straight, he was taller than Killian, but just a few inchies.

Killian glared at him. “What did you wanted, Robin?” he asked.

“Nothing I was just coming here to tell you Emma is coming this afternoon, we’re cleaning up a bit in the studios, so if you have anything to throw away, do it now, Killy.” Killian stood in place, watching his friend while still processing the information that Emma was coming.

“Okay” he replied and scratched behind his ear, still thinking.

“Got a problem with that?” Robin asked and crossed his arms across his chest.

“Why the hell would I have a problem with her coming over?” Killian said and started organizing things, he didn’t have that much of a mess, so he just gathered a few papers in the mini-desk and put his guitar on the far corner of the room.

“I don’t know. She’s cool, bro, don’t scare her too much.” Robin smirked at his statement.

“Ha, ha. It’s not me who’s gonna scare her, it’s you ugly face, twat” Killian said and Robin was about to reply when the band came back, greeting him. Killian smiled at his friend, and Robin pointed at him with his finger as if saying “this isn’t over”.

 

“Okay guys, playtime is over, let’s make a record.” He said going back to work and forgetting about certain Swan that was coming later.

 

* * *

 

 

After finishing his lunch, he walked back to the studio. A headache already forming with only thought to cope with The Janos again.

As he entered the building, he heard laughter, his eyes looking off the floor he saw Emma talking animatedly with Ariel, Eric and Robin.

 

“Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in.” Killian say and Emma’s smile deflated in her face. “Robin, you better call the zoo, we have a Swan on the loose.” He smiled at her.

Emma’s lips twitched a bit in the corners but didn’t smile. “You really are a smug bastard, did you know that?” she asked.

“I believe it’s one of my most lovely qualities.” He replied, oh, he had missed teasing her.

Emma rolled her eyes. “I seriously don’t know how you people cope with him” She told Ariel, Eric and Robin.

“I don’t know either, I guess you get used to it.” Eric answered and Ariel punched him lightly in his shoulder.

“Don’t be like that. Killian is a wonderful person” Ariel told Eric.

“Ah, Ariel, you give me way too much credit, sweetheart” Killian said and kissed Ariel in the cheek.

A few seconds later, Tamara stormed into the studio followed by her bandmates. Only stopping to glare at Killian.  
“Come on, sound guy, we have work to do.” She said and kept walking.

“Wow she’s really something” Emma said as soon as they were gone into the studio.

Killian sighted and rubbed his hands over his face and hair, pulling at it a little.

“I know, I’ve been trying really hard not to kill them for several weeks now.” He said.

“Oh, you mean you haven charmed the floor off her feet? I wonder why she wouldn’t fall for you irresistible charms” Emma’s voice dripped with sarcasm.

He smiled at her. “Careful, there, Princess, jealousy is a horrible thing, besides you know I have eyes only for you.”

“Oh please, you’re disgusting. Go away” She said.

Killian laughed, “Don’t miss me too much, Swan. And Ariel, would you please be so kind of bringing me the ribbon microphone as I set things up?” he asked.

“Sure.” Ariel smiled at him.

“Thanks, sweetie” he said and boomped her nose lightly before leaving. Looking at Emma, one last time, whose eyes were opened a little wider than normal, as if surprised.

He winked at her and the angry glare was back instantly.

 

* * *

 

 

 “Give me a little more bass on the mix, I can’t hear it enough” said the bassist, Greg, grabbing one of the sides of his headphones.

“A little ‘please’ would be just fine, mate.” Killian said in a whisper as he moved the console to give the musician what he wanted and get on with it. He didn’t sit back down, he stood with both hands on the table, head down.

Sometimes he hated the job, this times were little, but when he did, he wanted to storm out of the studio and never look back, buy a boat and stay in the ocean the rest of his life. But then he would touch his guitar, not even play it, grab it, see it… and every bit of frustration dissipated. With his guitar he felt whole again, as if his heart and head weren’t in the poor state he knew they actually were. He felt himself again once he let his feelings flow with the chords, his body filling with new energy.

 

Killian stayed like that a few more minutes, moving the little dust of the console with his index finger, till a knock on the door startled him.

“Swan, I didn’t hear you come in.” he says, looking at Emma still with her hand hovering by the open door.

“Sorry, I’m just here to take a few photos of you working and photos of the machines.” She explained herself. Killian looked through the glass that separated them from the ultra-annoying band that was playing oblivious to the conversation in the control room.

“Sure, I’d tell you to take photos from my best profile, but I’m beautiful both ways.” He smirks and winks at her and Emma rolls her eyes.

“And modest.” She said as she eyed her surroundings the only way a photographer would. Killian started feeling a little self-conscious under her glare.

“Can you…” she hesitated a little “Can you stand the way you were when I entered the room?” Emma finished.

“Wanna take a picture of my backside, love?” he asked rising an eyebrow. She didn’t reply, she just stared at him blankly until he dropped the issue. He chuckled at her expression.

“Okay, okay. I’ll pose for you.” He turned around and put his hands in the table again, his head dropping a little, as he watched between his lashes at the band, discussing something on the other side of the glass. He hear the sound of photos being taken and felt her moving across the room, as if looking for a better angle.

“You can move now if you like.” Emma said somewhere on his back, and as much as he’d like to tease her or talk to her, he had work to do and a band that seemed to argue more heatedly by the minute.

“Excuse me, love…” Killian said to Emma and pushed the talkback button so the band would hear him. “What’s going on?”

“This asshole can’t hit his cue right” Tamara yelled and her voice resonated through the speakers. “And it’s making it impossible to sing, you would’ve heard it if you were doing your job.” She said, now staring angrily at Killian, apparently they hadn’t been so oblivious to Emma entering the control room. He turned his hands into fists as he controlled his anger a little bit.

“I was doing my job, it’s not my fault your guitarist can’t hit a cue, princess. So don’t yell at me, yell at him. I have nothing to do with it.” He said hitting the talkback button angrily on the console.

“Yeah, sure, because smiling at a hot blonde is working. Please, don’t bullshit me, sound boy, we pay you and this crappy studio to make our record, the least you can do is work.” Tamara crossed her arms across her chest.

“That’s it, I’ve had it…” Killian said and started walking towards the door that joined the rooms, hoping to yell at her a little but was interrupted. Emma gripped his bicep, holding him in place.

“They’re not worth it.” She said, he looked at her through the hazy red clouds that were blurring his vision and then closed his eyes trying to calm himself. His nostrils flared with a deep breath, as he tried to gain some control, anchoring himself on the hand Emma still had on his arm.

“Besides, she’s right” a voice interrupted his thoughts. He looked at her with narrowed eyes, if she wanted to play, this was so not to the time, Killian thought. “I am a hot blonde” Emma grinned at him mischievously.

Killian felt himself start shaking but from laughter and not anger, and Emma let go of his arm.

“I think she might be a little blind, so don’t take the compliment too seriously, lass.” He said and smiled sideways.

“Ah, the asshole is back.” Emma stated matter-of-factly. Killian went back to the console and talked to the band. “I’ll go get Robin if you want to finish the job with him.” He didn’t even wait for their reply, he turned around to face Emma again.

“See, that’s where you’re wrong, I’m not an asshole, a douchebag perhaps. And I really do believe Tamara is a little blind, because hot blonde doesn’t even begin to cover you” Killian said and smirked playfully, he pinched her chin as she blushed slightly, he then turned around and went to search for Robin, feeling accomplished to ruffle up the feathers of the Swan.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Robin had managed to calm the band as Killian went outside to relax, still a little on edge from the discussion. He wished he still smoked, he could use a cigarette right now.

Killian felt confused about the oddly comforting green eyes that managed to calm him in his rage. He had been prepared to unleash hell in that studio, but she stopped him… and most importantly he had let her. That was what confused him the most, he could count the people in with one hand that had that effect on him, hell, even Milah failed to do it most of the time.

 

Milah. His heart made a flip inside his chest, he put a hand over it as if trying to calm it.

“Are you all right?” Emma asked suddenly beside him.

“Okay that’s twice in a day you sneak up on me, are you a wizard?” he asked her smiling, but not looking at her. 

“Nah, I just learned from a young age to be quiet” Emma said simply, he turned around to see her and her eyes were surprised as if she had said too much.

“Yeah, sorry about earlier, my anger got a little out of control.” Killian admitted, now standing in front of her. He noticed her taking a small step back from him.

“Its okay.”

 He just couldn’t help the spark of anger the bloomed in his brain. “I’m not going to bite you, you know?” He told her crossing his arms across his chest.

She narrowed her eyes in his direction. He was simply pissed off, this was not his day. He felt frustrated, he needed release, his hand twitching at the necessity to grab his guitar and forget the world as it often the world forgotten him.

“Maybe I just don’t really like you.” She told him, defensiveness making her words a little sharp. Her calming green eyes were now getting colder by the minute, and he regretted it, but he was stupid and he was angry for God knows what.

“Or maybe you really like me and that’s the real problem. I see you, Swan, you’re something of a open book.” He told her, invading her personal space. She didn’t back off, of course, she was fierce.

“You don’t know shit about me, Guitar boy.” Her nickname for him dripped acid and he started feeling it in the tip of his fingers, as if it was real. “Don’t’ pretend to know me and what I want or feel. I won’t fall for your stupid charms, pal. You’re not my type.”

He grabbed her forearm. What was wrong with him? He knew he shouldn’t be pushing her, Emma’s eye were burning with a thousand fires as she tried to remove her arm from his grip.

“Are you sure of that, princess?” He asked her. The alarms in the back of his mind going off loudly as he closed the distances between their faces, and stopping just a breath away from her lips. He looked at her eyes and she tried once again to get herself free. “You pulse and pupils say otherwise” He told her and smirked with mischief and let go of her. The warm of her body against his leaving him as she took several steps back.

“You’re an asshole, Jones.”  Emma told him a little breathless but with anger-filled words as she entered the studio again.

 

 

* * *

 

 

He knew he had fucked up, he felt like an idiot just after Emma entered the studio again.  He had placed his head on the wall to control his uneven breathing. Killian had pushed her too far, searching for some kind of reaction he didn’t even know. He didn’t know what he expected of her, maybe he just wanted the fight, the rush. He just wanted to feel something, he guessed.

 

Sometimes he had this low days where his expression would cloud and not even Robin could help him get his head out of his sorry ass for a while. There are some scars that don’t close ever, that time helping proverb was pure bullshit, he thought.

After coming back to the studio, Swan was nowhere to be seen. She had left, Robin told him. Of course she had left, he had been an enormous asshole and when he told Robin he agreed… he really was an asshole, even if Robin’s eyes were filled with the pity that Killian hated so much.

 

The rest of the week went by and every day the guilt of how he had treated her ate him more, she was no one, but she hadn’t deserve that. She hadn’t deserve his stupid rage.

He also had spent most of his week in three different spots… the studio, then the park –secretly hoping to see her and apologize… she never showed– and the gym, blowing off some steam and hopefully some guilt too.

 

It was Saturday when he was entering the studio and she was there, talking animatedly with Ariel. His heart skipped a beat when he saw her, his chest heavy with a weight that had her name printed on it. He walked slowly towards the girls on the desk, as if to not scare them, well… to not scare her. He felt uneasy around her once again, he was terrible at apologizing, even if he had made countless speeches in his brain, repeating every scenario possible. 

 

“Hi Ariel” He told the redhead with a small smile. And then turned to face her… “Hi… Emma”

She was completely still in front of him, frozen just like her eyes. He suddenly felt cold around his weighted chest and put a hand in it to try to combat the sudden chill he felt.

“Umm, Swan, lass… can I talk to you for a minute?” He watched Ariel quickly and continued. “Alone?”

Emma watched him through narrowed eyes. “Whatever…”  She started walking towards the exit and he followed her after leaving his guitar with Ariel, who gave him a soft smile.

 

“What do you want?” Emma asked him, her arms crossed across her chest, obviously in a defensive demeanour.

Killian stood in front of her with his hands in his front pocket jeans, giving her the space he knew she needed, obviously, he was sure that if he even thought about getting closer to her, she would kick him where it hurt the most.

 

Cleaning his throat he gathered his thoughts. “I wanted to apologize.” He looked at her, silently begging her to see his honesty. “I was an asshole the other day, I was angry and it got a little bit out of control and I..”

“A little bit out of control?” She cut him, taking a step closer to him, her face turning angrier. “You manhandled me, invaded my personal space and started speaking as if you knew me at all. You were an asshole all right, Jones.” Emma said.

He grimaced at her little speech. “I know, that’s why I wanted to apologize. This days were torture, I felt like the worst human around and I didn’t even know how to contact you to apologize. I went to the park every day in the hopes to find you…” He said, affording a little step closer to her. He just couldn’t help it, he wanted her to relieve the weight in his chest. “I am really really sorry, I don’t know what went through my mind that day. You’re right, I don’t know you and I shouldn’t have made a prejudgement. I was so stupid and I’m so sorry. I know we didn’t start our acquaintance right, but I’d like to start over. See? Emma I’d like to be your friend. Please.” That wasn’t how he had imagined any of his speeches ending, he didn’t know where that had come from, but as soon as the words left his mouth he knew he meant it. He really wanted to get to know Emma better.

She watched him carefully, he felt so little as she looked right through him even if he was indeed taller and was right now towering over her. The coldness in Emma’s eyes melted a little and he felt himself breath finally.

“I don’t know, Jones. I’ll have to think about it.” She said and turned around to go back to Ariel and only then, when she stepped away he realised they had been so close, their chest only a few centimetres away.

 

He really hoped she would think about it… and finally come to forgive him.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Killian spent the rest of the day working with an old band, he was friend with Jefferson, the singer and most importantly he was the godfather of his daughter, Grace. The little blonde was adorable and had every member of the band and the studio drooling after her, Killian specially.

Every time the band recorded, Grace would come and spend the day with them, even participating in a few records singing with her father. Killian was awfully fond of the little one, even if he didn’t get to see her much since he left for Boston.

 

He was tickling Grace in the couch when Ariel entered the room after a few knocks.

 

“Hey Ariel, everything all right?” Killian asked looking at her.

“Auntie Ariel!” Grace said and ran toward the redhead, jumping in her arms.

“Hello Grace! Awww, I missed your beautiful golden locks.” Ariel told the girl in her arms, and Killian had no doubt she would definitely make a great mother someday “Hey, Killian, everything is just fine. I just came to give you this Emma left for you  before I leave.” Killian instantly stood up and grabbed the brown envelope Ariel handed him. He didn’t open it right away, instead, he waited until Ariel left.

 

He sat on the couch again just beside Grace and started opening the envelope slowly, when he took out the content, he laid there looking at it. It was a picture of Emma… she was smiling at the camera. He then realised she was standing in the bridge of the park where they met, her hip against the stony railing of it. She was beautiful. Killian turned around the picture and there was a note sticked to it.

 

_Now that you have my photo you can return the favour, guitar boy._

_E-_

He started laughing like an idiot, she was a bloody genius. The weight of his chest leaving him completely.

“Uncle Killy, who is that girl? She’s very pretty” Grace said next to him, pointing at the picture Killian had in his hands. He put his arm on Grace shoulders, bringing her closer to him.

“She is, isn’t she? Not prettier than you, tho” Killian told her and Grace giggled next to him. “This, Grace, is Emma… a friend of mine.” He told her and smiled at the thought, the clouds that sometimes surrounded him vanishing completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHHH!!! I couldn't wait to upload this chapter. i'm weak!  
> This is my favorite chapter so far -Yeah, i know there are only 4 chapters, shhhhh- Also, i hope you like friendship and angst because that's what you're gonna get for a little while ;)  
> Your coments and reviews make me happy and inspire me, so don't be afraid to let me know what you think :) (you can also spam me at fueledbybookss.tumblr )


	5. The one with the boat

“You did what!?” Ruby yelled in the other line. Emma blushed furiously; glad she was on the phone and not talking in person.

“You heard me” She replied softly, not wanting to repeat it.

“So, let me get this straight… you sent guitar boy a photo of yourself basically telling him to think of you while he was doing his naughty business.” Ruby said and Emma didn’t reply, she was too busy burying herself in the pillows from embarrassment.

“I’m so proud of you, Emma. You finally learned my skank ways, I’m beaming. I might cry, Emma, I might cry” her friend told her with false tears in her voice. Emma started laughing.

“Oh God, you turned me into a monster.” Emma  said “But in all seriousness, I don’t know, I needed to make him know I was accepting his apology and that’s all I came up with.” She finished with a sigh. She knew it had been a little risky, hell, she didn’t even know how Killian was gonna take it, but if Emma knew him even a little bit, she could imagine his laughter.

She had been shocked at the fight they had had, the coldness in Killian’s eyes, the darkness. All the mindless flirtations gone in an instant, her chest turning cold under his stare. She grimaced as she remembered, she wasn’t pissed anymore, he had apologized and after a few hours of thinking about it she had forgave him. It just wasn’t natural the way his eyes had clouded, resembling the exact colour of the ocean when there was a storm.  And then when he had apologized, the other kind of storm, the kind she knew all too well was raging in his eyes, the guilt storm. She saw the guilt in his eyes, and even if she told him she had to think, somewhere in the back of her mind she had kinda forgive him… but she couldn’t forget. Not because he had been too rough, because even then –and she was certain he hadn’t notice– his thumb caressed her arm as he gripped it, but because of the way her body had reacted towards him, her knees weakening, her heard dancing inside her chest… he had been right, even with his stormy eyes he had been able to _see_ her and it scared her a little. Manhandling aside, that had really pissed her off, setting some not-so-pretty memories of her childhood and one of the abusive parents she had ended up with.

“Knock, knock. Earth to Emma.” Ruby said on the phone and Emma jumped a little startled, she had lost herself in her thoughts.

“Sorry Ruby, I spaced out. Listen, I have to go take the pictures to the studio, but I’ll call you tonight or tomorrow morning. Okay?” Emma said as she started gathering her stuff on her bag.

After hanging up, Emma grabbed her things and went to the studio, she needed to hand the photos to Robin, he had already paid her a generous amount of money for the photoshoot and she wanted to give him the photos soon, her way of saying thank you. The pictures had turned out quite well, some were really beautiful. And she was a little embarrassed to say that her favourite one was the photo she had taken of Killian standing over the console. Emma had turned it into black and white and it was just beautiful.

Maybe she would run into Killian in the studio, the thought made her uneasy, not knowing how to act after the photo thing.

Another beautiful day was receiving Emma, God, she loved Dublin… this vacations were definitely a good choice. She walked soaking herself in all the sun she could, some afternoons, she would just go to the park nearby and lay in the grass listening to music and looking at the sky.

The trip to the studio was short, as it was only 5 blocks away from where she was staying.

As she walked through the door of the studio, she saw Ariel in her desk. She really liked her, Ariel was simple, easy to talk to and so kind. She never pushed Emma, and as soon as she felt she was making her uncomfortable, Ariel would change the topic. This redhead could easily turn into Emma’s friend.

“Hi Ariel, how are you?” Emma asked smiling.

“Emma! I’m fine, drowning in work, but fine. And you?” Ariel replied lifting her eyes from the pile of paperwork she had in front of her.

“Oh, I was just here to leave this for Robin. The photos, I already edited them.” She said and handed Ariel a pendrive.  
“Oh, yeah, the photos, I’ll give it to him as soon as he’s free.” Ariel said.

“I was hoping you’ll be free for lunch, but from what I see, that’s not gonna happen” Emma said and scrunched her nose a little. Ariel giggled and pouted at Emma.

“I’m buried in work. You wouldn’t believe the amount of paperwork a studio needs.” Ariel sighted deeply.

“I can accompany you… if you like” Killian asked all of the sudden a few steps away. He was smirking at her. “That’s what friends do, right?” He said and scratched behind his ear. He looked good with a grey t-shirt and a black vest. She straightened her sun-dress feeling not so much like herself, the weather was hot and she ditched her usual jeans and jacket for this, now she was wondering why.

“Hi Jones. Yeah, I guess I could cope being with you for a little while. What do you think, Ariel, should I let him come?” Emma asked and looked at Ariel.

“I guess so, only if he behaves properly, tho.” She replied and smiled warmly at Killian who glared at her.

“I always behave properly, Ma’am.” He said and vowed mockingly.

“Fine then. Ariel, I will bring you some food when we come back, what do you say?” Emma told her and Ariel grinned.

“Can we keep her, Boss?” She told Killian, who started laughing.

“I don’t know, Ariel. I think it’s illegal, plus Swans belong in the zoo.” He told her and poked Emma on her side, she swatted his hand away with a glare. The short contact between them burning her skin a little.

“Let’s go, guitar boy”. She said.

 

“What do you say if we have take out and go to the park? It’s too much of a beautiful day to spend it inside.” Emma asked him as they walked. She wanted to be under the sun as much as she could before coming back, not for tanning purposes but because it felt good, she always loved being in the sun. It gave her some kind of comfort.

“As you wish, love.” He said “I know just the place. They have the best hamburgers in the world, I’m telling you. You will have to come back from Boston just to eat these burgers” Killian said and smiled at her.

“Hmmm, I don’t know. I have a deep love for a place back at home, we’ll have to see” She replied, her mouth watering at the thought. She knew how to cook, but every week she would go to the bar right across her house and buy herself a hamburger. They were the highlight of the week those things.

“Okay, if Granny’s doesn’t ruin you, you’ll have to take me to that place in Boston.” Killian said and winked at her. “Here we are.”

They entered the little shop, it was very cosy, painted with pastel colors, definitely not the place she would imagine Killian entering.

“Aurora! How are you?” Killian said and hugged a brunette with an apron. Emma decided to ignore the little misplaced heartbeat her heart did.

“I’m fine, Killian. It’s been a while… and who’s this lovely woman?”  Aurora asked looking gently at Emma.

“Hi, I’m Emma a... uhm… Friend of Killian’s” Killian beamed at Emma and she found herself comparing him to a little boy showing her mother the new friend he got at school.

“Very nice to meet you, Emma. Would you like a table for two?” she asked.

“Oh, no, no, we’ll have take out and go to the park.” Killian replied quickly and looked at Emma. “Hmm… she’ll have the hamburger number two and I’ll have the number three.” Emma raised an eyebrow with curiosity.

“Ordering for me, Jones?” she challenged.

“Oh yes, trust me, you’ll love it.” He replied winking at her. The confident bastard.

 

* * *

 

She did love it. She moaned a little when she first tasted the hamburger, Killian looking at her with amusement in his eyes.

“Are you kidding me? This is amazing” Emma told him through bites.

“I know, I warned you. It’s a pity, I was hoping you would have to take me to that bar you talked about.” Killian said and winked at her.

“I’m not even mad at you for being a confident bastard, that’s how good this hamburger is.” She pointed at it and Killian started laughing.

“Wow, it must be really good” He replied. Emma smiled at him, when he was not an asshole, he was actually good company. He paid for the food, even after Emma had threatened him, he hadn’t listened to her. She wasn’t used to these gestures from people, Emma had watched him, looking for second intentions in his eyes, but they displayed pure honesty, and that was shocking to her. She couldn’t help but feeling a little at ease around him.

“How many weeks you have left here?” Killian asked.

“About almost two weeks… more or less. I visited in this two weeks more places that I thought and I’m running out of places to visit. Any suggestions?”

“Have you ever been to London?”  he told her and laid down on the grass next to her.

“No… It’s worth it?” Emma asked shyly. She had been to a lot of states because of the adopting families, but this was the first time getting out of USA.

“Is it worth it? She asks” Killian laughed and smiled at her. “Of course, it is. It’s beautiful, lass.  I’ve been thinking about going and buying some tech we need in the studio. I could tour-guide you, if you want to, like Robin said.” Killian said and started playing with the grass nearby. “That is, if you can handle being alone with me and not jump at this beautiful face of mine.” He smirked at her with his sinister smile.

“Oh, I don’t think that will be a problem, Mister” Emma said and pinched his cheek “It’s adorable that you think you have any effect in me, whatsoever.” She said, a voice in the back of her head calling her Liar repeatedly.

“Is that so, Swan?” Killian said , sitting in the grass, then all of a sudden he was tickling her stomach nearly straddling her.

“NO! STOP, JONES STOP” Emma couldn’t help laughing, he was tickling her without mercy. “OKAY, STOP, STOP. I SURRENDER.” Killian stopped tickling her only to poke her one more time on her side.

“That will teach you not to mess with me, Swan.” He said proudly as Emma was having trouble breathing because her belly hurt.

“You’re an asshole, Jones” Emma poked his side, now that they were both lying on the grass. Silence took over them, both enjoying the sun and the peace.

 

After a couple of minutes, she heard Killian groan a little.

“I have to come back into the castle before I turn into a pumpkin” he said and stood up, offering Emma a hand to help her, which she took shyly.

“Don’t worry, princess. I’ll help you get back, but before we have to buy your bodyguard food.”  Killian started laughing and tugged at her hand, realising they hadn’t let go, he held it a few seconds more before dropping it.

“I just imagined Ariel as a bodyguard, charming everyone to their knees.” He said and Emma although fighting the fire that spreaded through her fingers to her spine, smiled at the comment.

 

* * *

 

 “No, Swan, just no. Lord of the Rings is way better than Star Wars. I’m sorry, love, it’s just the way it is.” Killian said. They had managed to start discussing about movies and in the endless war of Lord of the Rings vs Star wars whilst waiting for Ariel’s food. Emma had to admit it was refreshing fighting him like this.

“Oh, come on, Elves? Yeah right. I’m talking about spaceships and Jedis and lightsabers fights, Jones!” Emma fought back. She was really enthusiastic when it came to Star Wars. “And R2-D2! Come on, how can you even think twice?”

Killian opened the studio’s door for her absently, she didn’t think he noticed the gesture but she sure did.

“I admit it’s quite the adventure, and the C3PO and R2-D2 are amazing. But they don’t stand a chance against Tolkien, love. I’m sorry.” He shrugged looking at her unapologetically and Emma was about to respond when a voice that sounded like Killian’s cut her off.

“Oh, Killy, Killy. Where were you? ” Emma immediately turned around towards the voice and an older and similar version of Killian was staring right at her. She looked between the both of them, the resemblance of their eyes was stunning. Damn genes.

“Well, I’m glad to see you’re in good company at least. Liam Jones, nice to meet you.” Liam offered her his hand and Emma took it, still staring at him. He was so  similar yet so different from Killian. Liam’s gestures were less confident or obscure, she notices.

“Wow, you’re so similar to Killian. I mean, I’m Emma, Emma Swan.” She took his hand and shook it, Liam replied with a warm smile.

“You’re insulting me saying we look alike, Swan.” Killian put his hand on his chest as if it hurt and Emma rolled her eyes. “What brings you here, Liam?”  he asked.

“Just passing by. Well, not really, I was here to invite you to your birthday party.” Liam grinned at his brother. Killian’s birthday? Emma thought.

“Is it your Birthday?” Emma asked and felt embarrassed for not remembering a thing she couldn’t have known, but the feeling spreaded in her chest anyway.

“No, no, it’s tomorrow. I had forgotten about that.” He said and scratched behind his ear, a nervous gesture.

“Well, as I’m recently engaged and it is your birthday, we thought we could throw a party and celebrate two things in a whole day.” Liam looked excited at the idea, not at all like the other Jones, who sighted as if the idea of celebrating his birthday made him heavier somehow.

“What do you have in mind?” He finally asked.

“A day on the beach, I might take the boat as a ride there. You can’t say no, I already told the crew.” His brother patted Killian’s back and turned to Emma “You’re invited if you want to come.” He smiled warmly.

“Oh, no, it’s okay, I wouldn’t want to impose…” Emma started, not knowing what to answer.

“No, you should come. Really, Emma, please, don’t leave me alone with these losers.” Killian whispered the last part, leaning forward towards her as if telling a secret and Liam punched him in the arm.

“We’re plenty fun, asshole” he said glaring at his brother.

“Yeah, yeah… so what do you say?” Killian asked her rubbing his arm where Liam had hit him. She hesitated a bit… _what can go wrong with it?_ She thought.

“Okay… I was starting to run out of places to go, so…” She said and Killian winked at her.

“The more, the merrier, bro. We leave tomorrow at 9 o’clock in the docks. You ride with him?” Liam asked Emma.

“I’ll have to tolerate him alone? Okay… okay…” she said and smiled at the brothers. Liam chuckled.

“I like her.” Liam said.

“Yeah, yeah. I keep telling everybody that she bites, but they don’t believe me.” Killian sighted and smiled at Emma, who glared at him.

“Anyway, I gotta go, I’ll see you tomorrow, sailors.”  And with that, he was walking through the door.

“So you’re going to my birthday party…” Killian asked smirking, he crossed his arms across his chest and took a step towards her. Emma stood her ground, asuming the same position as him.

“I am. Why?” She said and lifted an eyebrow.

“I was just wondering if you’ll be my birthday present.” He winked at her, pinching her cheek. Emma rolled her eyes, trying to prevent the blood to rush to her cheeks. Confident bastard with stupid blue eyes.

“You wish.” She said.

“Be careful love, as I blow the candles I’ll wish it and maybe it’ll come true” he said with his eyes wide, mocking her. “Give me your cell phone” he said extending his arm towards her.

“Why?” Emma asked narrowing her eyes. Nothing good could come off this.

“So I can booty call you in the middle of the night, of course.” Killian said staring at her blankly, no sweet talking her this time. “So I can give you my number and then you can text me your hotel address for tomorrow, love.” He said and shook his hand as if hurrying her.

“Okay, okay. Here.” She handed him the phone, not totally convinced this was a good idea. _Carpe Diem, right?... Right?_

“There you go. I have to go back to work, but I’ll see you tomorrow, lass.”  Killian closed the distance between them and kissed her cheek. Emma punched his arm as soon as he stood back.

“Personal space, dumbass.”  She said, proudly sounding not as breathless as she felt.

“Fine, fine. Jesus, woman.”  He looked at her through narrowed eyes, but with amusement and he left… leaving Emma catching her breath and at the verge of a nervous breakdown for tomorrow. 

 

* * *

 

Thank God Emma had been illuminated upon packing her suitcase and had brought her favourite black bikini, it was modest but it hugged her curves just fine.

After dropping the food and Killian, Emma went back to the park to calm herself. A nervousness coming at her with the force of a way too many tequilas, her heart beating out of control in her chest. She laid in the grass analysing herself over and over and over without any kind of success. When she was with Killian, she felt oddly comfortable but at the same time her nerves were pushed to the limit, all the alarms on her head started to beep loudly every damn time. She just couldn’t figure out the mix, it was awkward enough for her to feel so at ease with him. She felt the same way with Mary Margaret or Ruby, and she had known them for years before feeling this way. There was something inviting about the way he looked at her, something that told her _“Yeah, I can trust this guy”_ And that was obviously why she approached him with such wariness, the last time this had happened, she ended up in jail and a miscarriage, a weight that was heavy on Emma’s shoulders every damn day. She couldn’t lose control again…. Ever again.

Calming herself and deciding forget about it all, just take it easy, because she wouldn’t see him again when she returned to Boston. That night Emma texted him her address, to which he replied

 

**Great, now I just have to knock on your door for the booty call. See you tomorrow, Swan :)**

That confident bastard. She hadn’t even replied to him and went to sleep, thinking that she would need all her control and energy for tomorrow.

 

Emma decided to wear shorts and a black tank top with a light cardigan. She looked herself in the mirror, straightening her outfit to combat her nervousness. Killian would be here anytime. She checked she had everything on the backpack she was carrying and when she finished her phone ringed with a text from Killian.

 

**Your carriage is waiting, Princess.**

She chuckled at his choice of words and got out of her room.  Killian was standing on the other side of the road, leaning against his car with total abandon. Emma’s control faltered a bit, her mind taking a trip of its own with some +18 images of Killian but she shook her head a little to get rid of them. Damn, in that moment, Killian looked at her and grinned.

“Hi, Beautiful” _Oh, really, this is just grand._ Emma thought.

“Beautiful? Weren’t we friends, Jones?” She asked stopping at a safe distance from him and crossed her arms across her chest.

“Give me that” He said and took her backpack, putting it on the trunk. “We are, I’m just telling my friend she’s beautiful…” there was a lingering pause where Emma bitted her bottom lip to keep a smile from blooming, come on, every girl liked to be flattered, she might be an ice cold bitch, but she had an ego too. “And you should too, you know. Because I’m stunning.” He smirked at her and Emma rolled her eyes, both of them getting on the car.

“Listen to me carefully; this is a onetime thing because it’s your birthday…” She said smiling at him. “You are stunning too. Now shut it and drive, Jones”

Killian laughed. “As you wish, love.” He said and they started driving.  After a few minutes of silence, Emma spoke.

“Are we far away?” she said, she could hear excitement on her voice. She was really looking forward to this, a day on the beach, Emma had a little hope she would be having a great time.

“Oh, don’t start getting all sugar-rush-kid on me, Swan. We are not far.” Killian replied. And it was indeed not far away, it only took ten more minutes to the docks. Killian offered to carry her backpack but she refused. 

Liam’s ship was beautiful, simple but really beautiful. It was white and a dark dark red, with beige cushions, Emma’s mouth was open staring at it. Now her excitement peaked at a hyper-sugar-rushed kid scale.

“Close your mouth or you’ll eat a fly, Swan.” Killian told her with amusement, she did so immediately. “It’s a beautiful ship, I think I had the same expression the first time I saw her. Let me go down first and I’ll help you.” Killian jumped to the ship with easiness, like a person that had done that a million times. He dropped his and Emma’s stuff on the floor of the ship and lifted his arms towards Emma to help her down, his hands on her hips as she jumped to steady her as her feet touched the unstable boat, her hands gripping Killian’s shoulders, hanging on for dear life.

“You okay there?” he said, their bodies still inches away. Emma looked at him and the weird expression he had on his face, his mouth tilted at one side on a half smirk, the glasses now gone making his eyes bear to her. She felt her pulse quickening – _Stupid, stupid Emma. Control_ – but her body stood right there. She was about to answer when they were interrupted.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” Liam and his fiancée appeared from the inside of the boat and Emma instantly pulled apart from Killian, if she had been looking at him she would’ve noticed the confused look he gave her before looking at the couple.

Liam hugged Killian and ruffled his hair big brother style. Now Killian’s hair looked as if he had just had the most outrageous sex, Emma nearly ate her tongue when a wave of heat went through her.

“Thanks, bro. Now get off me.” Killian said and pushed Liam away playfully. “Hi Emilie. This is Emma, a friend of mine. Emma, this is Emilie, my brother’s fiancée” Killian introduced them and they shook hands. Emilie was beautiful too, Emma thought. There was a niceness to her features, just like Ariel.

“Hi Emma, nice to meet you. I’m so glad you could make it, Liam told me you handled Killian amazingly and I just had to see it myself. It’s nice to see another girl coping with the Jones.” Emilie joked and snaked her arms on Liam’s waist, you couldn’t miss the fondness in her voice.

“Yeah, well, I do my best.” Emma said smiling softly.

“I’m making it easy for you, don’t get too excited.” Killian said and winked at her.

“Whatever makes you sleep at night, guitar boy.” She replied and winked back. Killian gave her a mischievous smirk.

“So, would you like to the honors? Since it is your birthday…” Liam said and dangled the boat keys in front of Killian, whose grin grew impossibly wider as he took them.

“Bloody hell, yes.” He patted Liam’s back and went to the wheel, Emma smiled at Killian’s excitement.

 

Emilie and Emma sat in the cushions of the boat as the boys drove and laughed. Liam’s fiancée was so nice and talked to Emma, telling her stories about the boys and their mischief, apparently it was a family thing.

 “So, how long have you and Liam been together?” Emma asked.

“Uhm… about 10 years now. We were high school sweethearts but when that ended we just didn’t want to separate, so we sticked together and after all that time I still love him, even when he’s a pain in the ass.” Emilie said and chuckled, looking at Liam’s back as he talked to Killian. Emma envied the look in Emilie’s eyes, the pure love you could easily see in her towards Liam, the complete contentment of being in love and being loved back. Emma thought she had that once and it all turned out to be fake, she finally decided love wasn’t her thing and would never be. No happy ending for Emma Swan.

“That’s a long time.” Emma said in a whisper. “And when is the wedding happening?”

“Oh, the first days of next month. I don’t know if Liam told Killian yet, we decided it last minute. We don’t want something big, it will be a simple wedding and a dinner with friends so…” she said and smiled. “You should come.” Emilie said, putting her hand over Emma’s. She felt moved by her kindness and smiled warmly at her.

“I’d like that, but I’m going back to Boston in a week and a half. I’m sure you will look gorgeous that day, tho.” Emma replied.

Liam approached them. “The captain says we’re 5 minutes away.”  He kissed Emilie’s cheek and went back to Killian. Emma stares at him for a minute; he seemed so relaxed here, like when he’s with his guitar –Which obviously, he had brought–

“They can make you crazy, but they both have such good hearts.” Emilie said to Emma, breaking the spell, she realised both of them were looking at the boys. It almost looked like a double date and it freaked her out a little. She smiled at Emilie, not answering because she was afraid her voice would sound as strangled as she felt.

 

* * *

 

They arrived and almost everyone was there. At first Emma felt a little like an outsider, but soon she was laughing with everybody. Ariel was nice, as usual, making her feel welcomed, just as Eric and Robin. She felt happy, her belly hurt sometimes of how much she had laughed and she was having a great time. She imagined Ruby giving her a thumbs up from Boston.

 A little before noon guy with a little girl arrived. “Uncle Killy!” the girl screamed and started running towards Killian, who picked her up and hugged her tightly, Emma couldn’t help but smile at the scene.

“Grace, I was wondering if you were coming. Now the party can begin.” He told the little girl, who giggled. “Hi, mate”. Killian told the Grace’s father and hugged him with the arm that wasn’t holding Grace. “Jefferson, this is Emma.” Killian said, he had introduced her to every person present there.

“You’re uncle Killy’s pretty friend.” Grace said before Emma could say anything to Jefferson. Emma chuckled with Killian.

“Well, thanks for the compliment. You’re really pretty too, Grace.” Emma said and smiled warmly at the girl. Grace smiled back and buried her head a little in Killian’s neck, as if embarrassed. Emma was sure this little girl had everyone on the palm of her little hand, and she was in serious trouble on being like that too.

“What do you say we go play in the water, G?” Killian said and poked the little girl’s side as she giggled.

“Yes!!” Grace replied and they headed to the water. Emma tried to control her smile but failed.

“So you’re the girl who doesn’t take a shit from Killian. Right?” Jefferson asked and smiled at her.

“It seems so. I don’t know why everyone is so surprised though.” Emma said.

“Well, because he’s a player. We’re used to girls falling for his charms and nothing else. It’s nice to see someone making him all fidgety from time to time.”

“Well, the good part is that I enjoy making him fidgety, as you say.” She replied chuckling.

“I’m sure.” Jefferson replied and winked at her before going towards the group of people to greet them.

 

 The amount of food they had brought was huge and Emma couldn’t move when she finished, part because she had ate a lot and part of it because she had laughed the entire time, Liam and Killian telling embarrassing stories about each other, Emma’s favourite was when they told a day when they were on the boat and Killian was drunk on deck and fell to the water, he kept screaming “Help, the crocodile will eat me, help!” Even if there were no crocodiles there, not even sharks.

“And we called him Captain Hook for like a month.” Liam finished, crying from laughter.

“Really? Then my present has a whole other meaning then.” Emma said and Killian looked at her with wide eyes.

“You bought me a present?” he asked in disbelief. Emma blushed a little and grabbed her backpack, pulling the bag with the present from it.

“It’s nothing.” She said and gave it to him. He watched as Killian grabbed the plastic sword with the eye patch, a wide hat and a plastic hook. She hadn’t intended on buying him anything, but walking she saw a costume and couldn’t resist.

Everyone started laughing as Killian grinned at her and put the ridiculous hat on.

“You’re bloody amazing, Swan.” Emma laughed and he hugged her, taking her by surprise, she patted his back, her body grateful for his warmness. “I think I might have to keep you, like everybody says.” Killian whispered on her ear and she fought a shiver.

“As if you could catch me” She replied, pulling apart from him.

“Is that a challenge? Because you know I love challenges” He smirked and put the eyepatch, smirking at everyone to see.

 

 

“Grace! Why don’t we show them what I thought you?” Killian said as he grabbed a Ukulele that was laying next to his guitar. Killian, Robin and Jefferson had gathered in a circle and started playing a few songs, Killian voice inviting everyone to pay attention as he sang.

“Yes! Look pa.” Grace said and sat in between Killian and Jefferson, who was smiling proudly at her.

Killian started playing the ukulele, everybody silent and then Grace started singing.

_I know you belong_   
_To somebody new_   
_But tonight_   
_You belong to me_   
  
_Although we're apart_   
_You are a part of my heart_   
_But tonight_   
_You belong to me_   
  
_Wait down by the stream_   
_How sweet it will seem_   
_Once more just to dream in_   
_The moonlight_   
_My honey I know_   
_With the dawn_   
_That you will be gone_   
_But tonight_   
_You belong to me._

Emma was speechless. Grace and Killian singing together, him sometimes looking at Emma and smiling. She smiled back, her heart exploding with the cuteness of them both. When they finished the song the crowd erupted in applause and Killian kissed Grace on the cheek.

 “Can I sit with you?” Grace asked a few songs later, taking Emma by surprise.

“Of course, come here.” She replied and Grace without another word sat on her lap. Emma snaked an arm on her middle so she wouldn’t fall and Killian started singing another song. Emma was too absorbed by the feeling that went through her as Grace smiled at her, the sudden ache on her chest, to notice Killian looking at her.

She hadn’t been a long time pregnant, but the feeling that she could have a family often occurred to her. One part of her longed for it, she had never had a family, a home. But the guarded part of her knew it just wouldn’t be possible for her, everybody she loved left her. No exceptions. She was abruptly torn from her thoughts when a person approached her and Grace. Killian was playing the guitar and singing at her with a smile on his face as he kneeled in front of Emma.

 

_Even when you're gone_   
_somehow you come along_   
_just like a flower poking through the sidewalk crack_   
_and just like that_   
_you steal away the rain_   
_and just like that…_

Emma felt herself blushing furiously, and sat frozen looking at Killian who kept singing, he winked at her and started singing to Grace, who was more than glad for the attention and even mouthed the words of the song along with him. Emma started breathing again and a little smile made it to her face, she wouldn’t know if it was because of Grace… or Killian.

_You make me smile like the sun,_   
_Fall outta bed_   
_Sing like a bird,_   
_Dizzy in my head_   
_Spin like a record,_   
_Crazy on a Sunday night_   
_You make me dance like a fool,_   
_Forget how to breathe_   
_Shine like gold,_   
_Buzz like a bee_   
_Just the thought of you can drive me wild_   
_Oh, you make me smile._

When Killian finished Grace hugged his neck and he rubbed her back, then looked at Emma with Grace still hugging his neck. He poked her side and she swatted his hand off, raising an eyebrow wanting to look unaffected and serious, clearly failing as Killian chuckled and smirked at her one more time, the dark thoughts that were looming at her earlier gone.

 

* * *

 

Emma was standing talking to Emilie and Ariel about her job at Boston and her next exposition when Killian appeared next to her.

“Excuse me, Ladies. Can I borrow Swan for a second?” He said looking at Emilie and Ariel who nodded. All of a sudden, Killian smiled at Emma and she knew she was fucked. He threw her over his shoulder with abandon.

“JONES! What the fuck are you doing? Put me down, now!” She screamed and trashed trying to get down but Killian’s arm grabbed her middle so she couldn’t escape.

“Sorry, lass. I noticed you haven’t once touched the water, so i decided to help you with that.”

“You’re so dead, Jones.” She screamed as he walked towards the water. She would kill him. Emma started pinching his sides but he just accommodated her on his shoulder and kept walking.

“Oh, darling, but I feel so alive.” He replied and entered the water, when he was nearly up to his waist; he threw her in the water.

Emma got out with a shocked face, he had really done it. Her clothes hugged her body tightly because of the water, her hair clinging to her face.

“Oh, I gotta say I’m rather fond of this view.” Killian said and smirked at her crossing his arms. That.bastard.was.so.so.dead.

 

Emma walked to the shore, not talking to him.

“What? No fight?” He said. Emma didn’t respond, he took off her clothes, hanging them on a nearby tree to dry, leaving her on her bikini and she walked towards him who was now also on the shore looking at her. She must have looked very pissed off, because he started walking backwards to the water chuckling.

“YOU’RE DEAD, JONES!!” She said and when Emma reached him she jumped to his back, making him loose balance so they fell on the water. She started laughing as she stood up, the water reaching her waist too. When Killian reached the surface she attacked him again, pushing his head back on the water.

Killian sinked a little further and grabbed Emma’s ankle, pulling her underneath the water too.

When Emma came back he pushed water with his hands towards her.

“You’re crazy.” He said as Emma threw him water back.

“I told you I was gonna kill you, consider this a warning.” Emma replied, laughing. The water felt good, not cold. She swum backwards and Killian grabbed her ankle, once again sinking her. Emma sneaked behind his back and hugged her legs on his waist and arms on his neck as if choking him.

“Stop it, Jones. Checkmate. Move and you’re dead.” She whispered, enjoying way too much the sensation of his body pressed against her chest.

“Can I move my hands?” He said and started caressing her calves, going up towards her tights around his middle. She instantly let go of him and as he turned around she threw more water to his face.

“You’re disgusting, Jones.” She stuck her tongue out to him and walked once again to the shore. Not even a little bit affected by his touch.

 

The voice in her head screamed _liar_ again.

 

* * *

 

With her clothes now dry she rested against a tree that gave a little shadow, she felt her skin red and wanted to get out of the sun for a while. She closed her eyes, enjoying the silence.

 A few minutes later she felt someone sit beside her on the sand, she opened her heavy eyelids and there was Killian with a sleeping Grace on his lap. He leaned against the tree and smiled softly at Emma.

“Did you bring Grace with you here so I wouldn’t kill you? That’s not fair.” Emma said.

He smiled at Emma and looked down at Grace, brushing the hair off her face. Emma felt a little of envy fill her, Grace was so little and already so loved, she would never know how lucky she was to have so many people take care of you.

“Are you okay there, love?” Killian asked, and Emma realised she was tired and maybe her face had reflected her thoughts. She regained control and looked at Killian.

“Yeah, I’m fine. A little tired I guess.” She replied.

“Yeah. I’m having a great time, thought. Thanks for coming, Swan.” He said and smiled softly at her.

“Thank you for inviting me. I’m having a great time too.” Emma said and pinched his cheek. “Happy birthday, guitar boy.” She chuckled as he tried to bite her hand when she let go.

“A happy birthday indeed, Camera girl.” He said and it seemed to Emma he looked right through her. Closing her eyes and also the connection between the two of them, Emma leaned back against the tree and was soon swallowed by darkness.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been quite busy working but i finally had time to finish this chapter! It's longer than the other ones and i really hope you like it even with the mini-cliffhanger there heheheh. I'm amazed by the response i've been getting, thank you so much for all the reviews, they make happy and help me with the story so don't be afraid to let me know what you think :)  
> As usual, should there be any mistakes, please point them out to me. 
> 
> PS: The songs in this chapter are real.  
> Tonight you belong with me - Eddie Vedder  
> Smile - Uncle Kracker


	6. Sing me to sleep

Killian woke up to Grace standing from his lap, when she realised he was awake she put her little finger to her mouth to tell him to be quite. He frowned at her still a little disoriented and was about to ask her why he had to keep quiet when he became aware Emma was sleeping with her head on his shoulder and Killian’s hand was on her tight, as if pulling her closer to him. He looked at her; she looked so open and peaceful asleep. He had had an amazing birthday and it was definitely because of the beautiful blonde now sleeping next to him. He hadn’t celebrated his birthday since Milah. The celebration felt so wrong to him, he had declined every invitation his friends or Liam made and instead drank himself to oblivion. His heart felt so broken because of his loss and sometimes he just became tired of pretending, he just wanted to drown in his sorrows and drink. That had been another reason he had moved to Boston, nobody could force him to anything being far away, he could easily refuse any plans.He hadn’t been thinking when he booked his flight to Dublin, completely forgotten it would be his birthday soon, that’s just how much he had neglected the date, but now he was glad, _Gods_ , so glad he had made that unconscious decision  as he stared at Emma.She was special, there was a fire in her that made Killian feel like an insect drawn to her light. He just couldn’t help it; just pray it wasn’t too noticeable. Swan calmed him, when he was with her his mind was at ease, he couldn’t compare it with anything, and he just wanted to be near her at all times.

He smiled as he remembered her face when he had thrown her into the water, the astonishment and anger. And then his jaw nearly dropped when she took off her clothes, his mind going blank, it wasn’t fair she had that body and those  long, long legs exposed. Legs he had a hand on, mind you. His left hand felt scorching hot all of a sudden and he took it off her leg and Emma still asleep moaned softly as if sensing the lost contact. Killian hated the way his body reacted to her, the way he didn’t seem to have any choice when his hands had caressed her legs. It was all too much and too soon, _they were friends_ , Killian reminded himself.Hell, it wasn’t like he was in love or wanted anything more with her; he just wanted to be next to Emma as much as he could. Somehow Killian felt more himself around her that he had felt in the last three years, like the not-broken version of himself and he didn’t want to let that go. He would search for her in Boston if necessary. _Okay, stalker much, calm down._

Killian pulled a hair off her face and curled it behind her ear and she stirred in her sleep opening her eyes a little, looking up to him. Those bloody green and gold eyes. They stared at each other a little and Killian smiled.

“And you’re the one always giving me a hard time about personal space.” He said trying to break friendly the silence. 

Emma frowned then and separated from Killian abruptly, the left part of his body suddenly cold and he couldn’t help but feel disappointed.

“Sorry about that, guess my unconscious self-decided you were comfier than the tree.”  Emma passed her hand through her face and hair.

“You unconscious is smarter than you are, then, lass” Killian said and got up and help her do so too. He chuckled at her face. “You are getting freckles from being in the Sun.” he noticed and booped her nose smirking. Emma scrunched her nose.

“I’m not sure I like freckles.” She said and frowned.

“Nonsense, you look adorable.” Killian pinched her cheek and started walking towards the group of people.

“Oh well, well, birthday boy. You’ve woken up.” Robin patted his back and winked.

“Yeah, sorry.” He replied. The sun was going down and they would be getting back soon, he didn’t really want it to end, he realised and passed his hand through his hair a little in distress at the thought.

 

They chatted for a while before starting to grab the things to go. They said goodbye to everyone before heading to the boat, Emma and Emilie a little behind them.

“So… I guess we Jones have a thing for the E girls.” Liam said and winked at him. Killian sighted, he should have seen it coming.

“It’s not like that, we are just friends, Liam.” He said, not looking at his brother.

“Yeah, I’m sure you really meant that.” His brother mocked him and glared at Killian.  
“I’m serious. I really like her but we’re just friends. You know how I am, not a feelings person.” Killian replied and Liam’s face softened a little.

“Whatever you say, it’s just… the way you look at her. Sorry if I misunderstood, I really like her too; she keeps you on your toes and makes you smile.” Liam smiled to Killian and he felt a little embarrassed, he knew his brother had been worried about him after Milah, but he hadn’t realised maybe just how much he had been a weight to Liam.

“She’s a tough cookie.” Killian laughed and stopped to drop their things on the boat as they reached it, once again helping the girls into it trying to control his fucking hands to himself with Emma.

 

He grabbed the keys again, he loved driving the boat, he had to buy one sometime in Boston. The Jones loves sailing from a young age, they would spend hours in the water and on their father’s boat. It had become a hobby of theirs to go out with the ship every weekend they could, that is before their parents died. They had spent a few years not going near the water, till Killian couldn’t take it anymore and went sailing again, then taking Liam with him, slowly building their link with the sea. Now they sailed together every time they could.A poke on his side torn him from his thoughts. Emma was beside him, smiling softly. The sunset had an incredible effect on her, making her green eyes shinier and her golden locks a beautiful shade of blonde. Not that he had noticed it. “Hello Captain” She said.

“Sailor” He said mockingly and saluted her military style and her cellphone ringed, Emma frowned as she pulled it out of her pocket, she grimaced when she saw the cell phone. Killian looked over at her curious.

“Ruby?” She picked up and pulled the phone a little away from her ear. Killian could hear a screaming voice but couldn’t distinct words.

“Yeah, I know, sorry I forgot to call you I was at…” Emma looked at Killian quickly and scratched her forehead. “I was at guitar boy’s birthday.” She said and he could have sworn that was blush in Emma’s cheeks. Now he was definitely interested in who was she talking to.

“Yes, beside me. No, are you crazy? I’m not giving him the phone” Emma scream-whispered  and Killian couldn’t handle the want to tease her so he took the phone off her hands without her permission.

“What… What are you-” Emma said as she stared at him in shock.

“Hello, this is guitar boy. Who may this be?” Killian said to the phone and heard a laughter on the other line. Emma stood there frozen looking at him in shock and Killian winked at her.

“Hello guitar boy, I’m Ruby a friend of Emma’s” Ruby said. “I heard a lot about you I must say, I hope you’re treating our friend well.”

“Of course, lass. I’m taking care of our Swan, don’t worry. I wish I could say I heard about you too but it’s not the case.” He said and with a hand Killian gripped Emma’s shoulder trying to stop her from reaching the phone.

“Oh, that’s okay, she’s not one to talk about herself. She’s trying to take her phone back, right?” Ruby asked.

“Yup, but I can handle her. Right, Swan?” Killian teased her and ruffled her hair; Emma huffed and crossed her arms across her chest glaring at him. “Oh, Ruby you didn’t tell me she looked so pretty when she was mad.” He winked at Emma who rolled her eyes.

“I have the impression you already knew that. I have to get back to work, but take care of her, guitar boy or I might just have to hunt you down and hurt you slowly and painfully. Yes?” Ruby said matter of factly at Killian and he smiled. “She’s difficult, but a great person, so bear with her…”

“I will, Ruby, thank you.” He said and hanged up, giving the phone back to Emma. “Interesting friend you have, Swan.” Killian smiled as she took abruptly the phone from his hand.

“What did she tell you?” She asked.

“Oh, nothing, just that if I don’t take care of you she would make my death slow and painful.” He chuckled at her embarrassed expression

“Oh God. Don’t pay attention to her, she’s crazy.” Emma said and buried her face on her hands.

“Yeah, she is. She doesn’t have to threaten me to take care of you, I’ll do it without the threat.” The words escaped his mouth and he didn’t look at her, a little scared of how she would react. Emma didn’t answer and he felt a little disappointed.

“Thank you.” Emma said a few minutes later, barely a whisper. Killian looked at her and she was playing nervously with her own hands, he smiled to himself feeling like he had earned a few unspoken points with her.

“Oh, Swan, don’t let anybody hear you. We have a reputation of constantly trying to sass each other out, we can’t ruin it.” He said and pushed her with his hips softly. Emma laughed, making his smile grow wider and she punched him in the arm.

“You’re an asshole, Jones.” She said smiling.

“Now that’s more like it, love.”

* * *

 

The drive home was quite as they were both tired from a long day at the beach. Killian put some music and enjoyed the conversational silence. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence and that amazed him, they knew each other for two weeks now and they had fallen to this level of comfortableness around them without saying a word.

Soon, much too soon for Killian’s disappointment they arrived to her hotel. He got off the car and opened the truck to give Emma her backpack.

“So…” he said as they stood there. “Did you have a good time?” he asked one more time.  
Emma narrowed her eyes a bit at him. “I told you a hundred times, Jones. Yes…” she said. “Thank you again for letting me tag along.”

“Sure, no problem. I’ll see you soon I guess, I know you can’t live long enough without seeing this marvellous face.” He said and pointed at himself.

“Yeah, right. It’s you who can’t have a day go by without torturing me, dumbass. I don’t know how I cope with you, really.” Emma mocked him, rolling her eyes and smiled a little.

“Because I’m special and everybody loves me.” Killian smirked at her and Emma just glared.

“I don’t love you. You kinda piss me off, really.” She replied arching an eyebrow.

Killian put a hand to his chest as if hurt. “You wound me so, Swan. You piss me off too.” He said and pinched her cheek; she swatted his hand off and laughed.

“My bed needs me, I have to go.” She said.

“Need help with that? I’m really good in beds” he moved his eyebrows up and down.

“In your dreams, asshole.” She replied and started moving away from him.

“What? No goodbye hug? Nothing? It’s still my birthday, you know?” He said, silently begging to all of the Gods to feel her calming warmth one more time, as if he could store it and use it when he went to bed and tried to sleep tonight.

Emma stopped in her tracks and turned slowly, her eyes narrowed looking suspicious.

Slowly she came back to stand before him, her eyes shining but the walls she carefully built around herself closed any type of emotion to Killian’s lingering eyes.

“You suck for using that excuse against me.” Emma said but still hugged her arms around his neck and pressed herself against him. Killian stayed still a few seconds, trying to process the fact that she was hugging him but rapidly recovered and hugged her back, pulling her tighter against his chest. He buried his face on her hair, trying to absorb all the peace she transmitted, her face against the crook of his neck. They stood like that for a couple of minutes, neither of them moving to let go, Emma’s hands unconsciously scratching the hair on the back of his neck, but she also was the first one to move to let go. She cleared her throat and stepped out of his reach.

Killian scratched behind his ear, mentally willing his body to conserve the heat that her body had left behind.

“Well… that should do for like three years or so.” She joked and he tough he saw blush on her cheeks, he grinned at her.

“Like you could keep your hands off me that long.” He winked at her.

“That’ll be you.” She said and turned to leave just when Killian slapped softly her ass.

She looked back at him in bewilderment and he laughed.

“Just proving you right, love.” He said and winked. Emma hit him in the arm.

“You’re incorrigible.” She said and walked away leaving Killian still smiling even as he got home.

 

Even if his bed still felt cold that night.

* * *

 

Wednesday was boringly uneventful, a whole day of working and going home to play some of his music, he had a gig on Thursday and he planned to rock it, and it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he had been planning on asking Emma to go, _nothing_.

Killian carefully selected a set list to play that night, some of his songs and some covers; he dissected the words and put them together again, making them his own.

Next to him his phone vibrated with a text message, he finished playing the song before getting it.

 

**Craving Granny’s. Care to join me?**

A smile appeared on Killian’s face as he read Emma’s text.

_I’m actually working home… mind if we order it take out and come back here?_

He reread it six times before sending, not trying to scare her off, he wasn’t just in the mood to be anywhere far from his guitar.

**Are you trying to get me to your bed? You know I won’t fall under your I’m-so-hot-look-at-me-i-sing façade.**

He laughed at loud, this woman.

_Calm down, Swan. You ugly blondes are not my type. What if I promise a Star Wars movie?_

He had to wait less than a minute for her reply.

**Where do you live?**

And just like that, Killian became completely conscious that Emma was going to his house. He looked around, pleased that everything was organized. Slowly breathing he tried to calm himself, nothing was going to happen. He felt uneasy for the fact that his home was his sanctuary, even if he’s living in Boston, this hold a lot of memories and Killian was the kind of person that tried to accommodate the places he lived to look like his brain, less fucked up, of course. But if you looked around, you could slowly build up his personality.  Guitar on the corner, sheets of music everywhere, paintings of the ocean on his wall, disarranged bed, coffee always made, there were even walls written with some of the songs he had written throughout the years.

He texted Emma his address and told her he would buy the food, as he was only two blocks away from Granny’s.

His routine till Emma arrived consisted basically on take a shower, freak out, put on some clothes, freak out, go to Granny’s, freak out a little bit more, come back to his place, resume freaking out. That last action only lasted about five minutes because the bell ringed.

He took a deep breath and opened the door, Emma was standing in front of him wearing a t-shirt and the red jacket he had seen several times, her hair pulled in a ponytail, she raised an eyebrow.

“Jones.” Emma said.

“Swan.” He replied mimicking her expression and looked at her through narrowed eyes; she stared at him a few more seconds and smiled at him, Killian felt every ounce of freaking out vanish. He chuckled and moved to let her come inside.

“Oh, my love.” Emma said going straight to the bag of Granny’s and started to unpack everything.

“I’m starting to think I’m only here to be the third wheel.” He said and leaned on the kitchen counter.

“Obviously. Thank you for bringing me and number two together.” She said and smiled. Killian laughed and started grabbing plates for the hamburgers.

 

“So… what were you doing that you didn’t want to go to Granny’s?” Emma asked between bites. Killian took a sip of his beer as he nodded towards the guitar and sheets of music on the coffee table next to the couch.

“Practising. I have a gig tomorrow at the bar where I nearly made you wet.” Killian winked at her and Emma rolled her eyes and mumbled something that sounded like _I’m eating here._ “You can come if you want to.”

“Tomorrow night?” Killian nodded at her. “Yeah, why not? Will Ariel go?” Emma asked.

“Yup, and Robin and Eric.” He smiled and looked subtly at her, something on the back of his head analysing how somehow she seemed to fit in his apartment, as if she belonged. He stopped those thoughts short and continued eating.

“Okay they, I’ll go see you suck at performing.” Emma chuckled evilly.

“Ouch, you know a musician’s ego is a very fragile thing, love.” He said and pouted.

“Ha! Your ego is so big I don’t think it will break anytime soon, guitar boy.” She replied and they kept eating with an easy conversation.

 

After eating they cleaned the dishes and ended up in the couch, Emma with her boot-less feet on the coffee table after Killian pulled the music sheets away and Killian in a similar position next to her, as he drank from his beer.

“So, what made you become a photographer?” Killian asked. Emma looked pensive for a few seconds before answering.

“I guess, when I was a kid I didn’t … exactly have a lot of nice experiences, but the ones that I had I remember wanting to freeze the time and remember them, I used to take like little rocks or something from the place I had a nice time as a souvenir.” Emma grimaced and Killian smiled warmly at her to encourage her. “I guess that’s why I love photos, they capture a moment for you, and you can give it your point of view, your brand and keep them for as long as you want.” Emma fell into silence. “Why did you become a musician?”

“Well, I did it because I’ve always had a hard time talking about what I feel, and it helps me not to get more poisoned inside, I guess. Music has always been my safety blanket, the one constant in my life that never went away.” He said and scratched behind his ear. “I own music my sanity and life.” He finished and looked up at Emma, who had an intense expression on her face, but as soon as their eyes connected, hers closed off immediately.

“You always look so passionate when you sing, it’s interesting to watch.” She said.

“I’m always interesting to watch.” Emma scoffed and he smiled, some of the grim air around her clearing.

“You’re so modest, it’s amazing.” Her voice dripped with sarcasm and he poked her side, she squealed and backed away from him. “You promised me a movie.” Emma said and pouted at him.

“Aw, how can I say no to that fish face?” Killian replied pinching her chin and got up to find his DVDs, he might be a Lord of the Rings enthusiastic, but he enjoyed Star Wars too. He lifted for Emma to choose one and she picked the fifth one, or the second one… God, reason number one Killian was confused by this saga, why couldn’t you just number them correctly?

“It’s just makes them more interesting. Shut up.” Emma said, apparently Killian had spoken aloud.

“You shut up; it’s a lame try to make them more exotic.” Emma stuck her tongue out to him.

 

Halfway into the movie, Killian laid down on his back and put his head on Emma’s lap, he stayed there waiting for her to kick his ass, but she didn’t even look at him and kept watching the movie. He began to relax when he felt her hand touching his hair, caressing it. All of a sudden Killian was invaded with memories of his Mother, not even Milah, she had never been that loving with him. But his mother had this weird habit of always caressing his hair when he was trying to sleep or just sitting next to her.

Killian closed his eyes, completely immobile as he enjoyed the feeling, he could feel his heart bleeding the nostalgia through his veins. He felt Emma’s hand falter in his hair.

“Are… are you okay?” she asked in almost a whisper. He opened his eyes and looked at her, Emma was frowning looking at him, her hand wasn’t moving on his head. He didn’t want to think about the kind of storm that was going through his eyes.

“Yeah…” his voice was a little rough and he cleared his throat. “It’s just… nobody has done that in a long time.” He looked away from her and stared at the ceiling. “It’s a habit my mother had.” He finished, closing his eyes again. “Continue? Please?” He hated so much begging, but Killian couldn’t help it he felt raw and her touch was doing the most calming thing ever.

Emma didn’t reply but started to move her hand again, caressing him softly and hesitantly. Killian let out a sigh and sank deeper in the couch.

“Tell me about your mom.” Emma whispered the movie now long forgotten.

Killian smiled at the memory of his mother, he had little memories but the ones he had were burned on his mind.

“She was beautiful. And so kind, she was always helping people. She was a teacher at my school and everybody loved her. She had this beautiful brown hair with eyes like mine, and she used to make this to die for pancakes. I remember her making them for my birthday.” He said and Emma chuckled a little next to him.

“She sounds like an amazing woman.” She replied, Killian chuckled, the pain in his heart going away slowly, he looked up at Emma and smiled.

“She would’ve liked you. My mother used to tell me that it would take a great woman to tame me, I guess you’re close enough.” He said and Emma pulled a bit of his hair as punishment, which made Killian laugh and poke her on the side. He turned around to lay on his side and touched his forehead to Emma’s stomach, snuggling closer to her, at first he could feel her muscles froze at his intimate approach but in an unspoken arrangement Emma kept caressing his hair slowly, sometimes caressing the side of his face too as she watched the movie.

 

“Killian” he heard Emma whisper. He opened his eyes, somehow he must have dozed off, he sat on the couch and passed his hand through his face and hair.  
“I’m sorry I dozed off, Swan.”  He said and smiled at her, he felt sleepy and a side of his body still warm from Emma.

“It’s okay, now we’re even. I slept on you, you slept on me.” She said and raised an eyebrow smiling, Killian smiled back and looked at the clock on the wall.

“Oh, it’s late, damn.” He said.

“Yeah, that’s why I woke you; I need to head back to the hotel.” Emma stood up and stretched her back, Killian looked at her body, damn she had a nice ass.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll accompany you, lass.” He stood up quickly and away from Emma’s tempting form.

“There’s no nee-” She began.

“I’m Emma Swan and I’m a young independent woman who don’t need a dashing rescue by this hottie. I know, I know.” He mocked her and Emma rolled her eyes. “I’ll walk you there anyway, princess.” He grabbed his coat and went to the door.

“I wouldn’t have called you hottie, I don’t lie.” She said and stuck her tongue out to him, he smirked at her.

“I recall a certain blonde telling me I was stunning too.” He said and hugged her from behind, sneaking a kiss on her cheek, running a little away just as she turned around to hit him.

“Coward.” She said and narrowed her eyes at him. “That was because it was your birthday.”

A few minutes later they were walking side by side when she hit him on the arm.

“That was for before” she said. Killian stroked his arm, the girl had some muscle, he would never admit it aloud, tho.

“So… are you still up for London?” She said. That took Killian by surprise; he thought she wouldn’t accept his proposal.

“I… yeah, I’m in. When do you want to go?” he asked as they walked, they were near her hotel.

“Are you free this weekend?” she asked and bit her bottom lip, his eyes drifting there for a moment, an unknown heat burning him inside out. _No_ , he thought, _stop it_.

“This weekend? So eager, are we love?” He winked at her and she just stared with her eyebrows lifted. “Yeah, I’m free. I’ll pick you up Friday afternoon after I finish working, sounds fine?”

They stopped on the door of her hotel as he waited for her answer.  “Yep. Sound okay.”

“Fine then, love.” They stared at each other a few seconds. “I’ll see you tomorrow at the bar I trust?” he asked and scratched behind his ear.

“I’ll think about it.” She said and smiled. He narrowed his eyes at her.

“I hope you come to the right decision.” He said. “Bye, Emma.” Killian grinned at her.

“Bye, Jones.”

* * *

 

 He was scared, three minutes till he had to go upstage and perform, months ago had been the last time he had done this, and it wasn’t nearly with so many people, the bar was packed they had told him.

He gripped his guitar tightly and closed his eyes, he could do this. Breathe in, breath out.

“Calm down, bro. You’ll do just fine.” Jefferson said next to him. He would be helping him with a few songs.

“It’s just it’s been so long.” He replied.

“You always belong there, and you know it. This is your home, Killian. You deserve this place, so just go up there and make everyone remember that.” Jefferson patted his back and Killian grinned at him.

“Thank you, Jefferson.”  He said and started walking to the stage. When he was out in the spotlight the crowd applauded at him. Killian made himself enter in what he called the Rockstar mind, where he would let go everything he had inside him and let it pour out from every pore of his body.

 

When the chords of the first song started playing, he felt free. This is him, purely him, no mask. These moments where probably the only ones Killian really let himself shown, the pure core of his soul displayed at everyone to see.

 

_I've been spinning now for time_   
_Couple women by my side_   
_I got sinning on my mind_   
_Sipping on red wine_   
_I've been sitting here for ages_   
_Ripping out the pages_   
_How'd I get so faded?_   
_How'd I get so faded?_

He had missed this feeling, he thought. The adrenaline that traveled through his veins had him ecstatic, he went from one part of the stage to the other, singing at the people in the crowd, sometimes reaching the microphone in their direction where he heared them singing back. He looked around the bar for his friends and Emma was the first one he saw. She looked dashing as always and smiled at him when they locked eyes.

_I will hold your hand and watch the world spin idly around this life we're in_   
_Oh yeah everything goes quiet when it's you I'm with_   
_Oh yeah everything goes quiet when it's you I'm with_   
_You, you, you…_

He kept looking at her through the song, like a spell, he couldn’t take her eyes off her. Emma was slowly swaying to the beat of the music. There was something beautiful about making someone feel your music, and the fact that she was feeling it made Killian feel powerful, filled with new energy.

_You saw my pain washed out in the rain_   
_Broken glass, saw the blood run from my veins_   
_But you saw no fault, no cracks in my heart_   
_And you knelt beside my hope torn apart._

He let himself go over and over again, singing with Jefferson sometimes. Looking in the crowd, several times to end up locking eyes with Emma.

_I think you're crazy_

_I think you're crazy_

_I think you're crazy_

_Just like me_

He sang that to Emma and she shook her head to from side to side whilst laughing, which made him laugh too, but recovered quickly to finish the song.

By the time he finished singing all the songs, the crowd roared and he felt complete.

Leaving his guitar on the case and in the room backstage, he started to walk through the crowd to his friends, people greeted him and congratulated him about his show, some chicks even flirting, Killian didn’t acknowledge it very much, he wanted to get to his friends.

When he got there, Emma turned around and grinned at him, lifting her arms as if asking for a hug. Killian grinned back and hugged her, lifting Emma and swirling them around.

“Ew, you’re sweaty. Get off me.” Emma said and scrunched her nose mockingly, poking him to let her go. He let her feet on the ground but was still hugging her.

“Oh, come on, Swan. The best things happen while you’re sweaty” He winked at her and Emma rolled her eyes. He finally let her go and greeted the rest of the group with a dazzling smile. They found a booth and Emma went with Ariel to buy drinks.

 

“I’d say you were amazing, but then your ego would be so big you wouldn’t fit in the studio.” Robin said and Killian laughed.

“I really enjoyed the show, it’s been a while since I have done such a big crowd.” He replied.

“Really? It seemed like you were majorly singing to one person.” Eric said and smiled innocently at him. Killian frowned at them.

“What do you mean?” he asked, confused.

“I’m talking about certain blonde we’ve recently acquaintance that you happened to stare during a long, long time whilst singing.” Eric replied.

“Emma? What? I stared at her, I stared at you too. We’re just friends, man.” Killian replied, suddenly defensive.

“Are you sure? You know you can tell us, besides, you’re probably  not gonna see her after she goes back to Boston, there’s nothing wrong with a little acti-” Eric was saying and Killian cut him off.

“She’s not like that. She’s not another girl I fuck and then forget about. We’re just friends. Okay?” He clenched his jaw, a sudden rage had possessed him when Eric had dismissed Emma like that. He would be seeing her after she went back to Boston, the idea of not talking never again with her made his chest ache in the strangest way, even as he tried to repress it. Luckily for him, Emma and Ariel came back with their drinks. Emma was grinning as she walked, her cheeks blushed.

“Hey…” he had been about to say beautiful but stopped himself, self-conscious with Eric and Robin looking at him. “I know devilishly handsome , but you have to dissimulate that smile, love.” He said smirking at Emma, and started drinking his beer.

“You should be so lucky. Our Emma here just got herself a date with Graham.” Ariel said and Killian nearly choked with his beer, he coughed two times before looking at Emma.

“You? A date? With Humbert? How?” Killian said in disbelief. Emma looked surprised at him.

“Is that so hard to believe?” She said and frowned.

“Well… yes, you don’t have a flirting bone on your body, Swan.” He said. Emma raised an eyebrow and leaned a bit closer to him.

“Wouldn’t you like to know…” She said and smiled tightly at him. Killian licked his bottom lip before answering looking straight into her eyes.

“Perhaps I would.” He said. Fucked, he was so fucked. What if Eric was right? He couldn’t be, no. Killian Jones didn’t fall for a person in less than three weeks, no. Just no. He looked away and Eric was watching him with his eyebrows raised, he looked at him shutting him up.

 

This was not happening, this was not happening; he was not falling for her. She was beautiful, and maybe he had fantasised about her in his bed, but nothing more. Perhaps that was it, he just was lustful. Yes, that was it. Any man could look at Emma and become lustful, he thought.

He controlled his breathing and integrated to the conversation that went fluidly around him, letting any thoughts about a certain blonde vanish from his mind even if later that night his dreams would be filled with golden locks of hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, guys! Hope this chapter makes up for that ;) Did somebody said Gremma? No? Oops, sorry (not really). 
> 
> The songs on the fic are real.  
> 1) Bloodstream - Ed Sheeran  
> 2) Quiet - Jason Mraz  
> 3) Ghosts that we knew - Mumford and Sons  
> 4) Crazy - Gnarls Barkley
> 
> I've been trying to get inspired with some music, and i've reached the point where everything i hear is Captain Swan. Losing my mind a little bit here, you may call me Jefferson from now on.


	7. The cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost ten days without an update, i'm so so so so extremely sorry. I've been so busy with work and college, i didn't want to write something rushed that might end up on begin awful, i hope this chapter makes up for the waiting! :)  
> I wanted to thank you once again for the amazing response to this story, it makes my heart melt. I'll try to update as soon as posible and i might be posting another fic, so, stay tunned. You can spam me at tumblr also (fueledbybookss.tumblr)!  
> I love you all.
> 
> PS: I forgot to mention that i've never traveled from Dublin to London, so i did a little bit of research and i from what i understood, you take a ferry and then a train. If that's wrong or something, please forgive me :)

Emma was completely calm about the fact that 2 hours from now Killian Jones was going to pick her up to go to London. Completely calm, not walking around of her hotel room, not checking the backpack she was taking over a hundred times, or her hair… definitely and completely calm. _As if._

“Oh, come on, Emma. You are friends, right? And you say you feel nothing, you should be good. Right?” Ruby said over the phone.

“Yeah, I know. It’s just that last night threw me off a little bit. I really don’t want this to be awkward, Ruby. I like him… as my friend that is.” Emma said.

“Of course… as a friend.” Ruby deadpanned. “As I said, you should be fine. And if it’s awkward you can always fuck and get over it.”

“WHAT?! No, no way. Are you crazy? What? No. You are crazy.” Emma said and tugged off her sweater, suddenly the hotel room seemed smaller and hotter.

“Oh, come on, you’re both big babies now. You can take a one night stand just to break the tension, you know? Oh… you can’t see me but I’m winking at you, by the way.” Ruby said and Emma could the brunette’s smile through the phone. She sighed loudly.

“Ruby, that’s not gonna happen, because you don’t fuck friends. Besides, I have a date with Graham.” Emma said and smiled at the thought of him, he had asked her so adorably to go out yesterday. Now, that’s a one night stand Emma wanted to have.

“I didn’t have a chance to see Graham, so I’m sticking with the other Irish Sex-God.” Ruby answered.  
“What’s you problem with him? I can introduce you to him if you like Jones so much.” Emma sighed and rubbed her eyes.

“If I didn’t know you better I’d say you are jealous, Emma. I don’t know, Emms, I just have a feeling about him.” Her friend said and Emma sat on the feet of the bed, playing with some threads on the sheets.

“What do you mean?” she asked, a little afraid of the answer as she sometimes felt the same way Ruby felt, even though she tried horribly hard to repress it.

“I think he’s good for you, Emma Swan. He’s outside of your comfort zone, and it’s time you live a little.” Ruby answered. Emma let herself fall on the bed.

“I know but… Ruby, I can’t take a chance that we’re wrong about him. I just… can’t.” Emma said. Feeling her heart clench at the thought of letting him in.

“Oh, Emma… not every guy is like-” Ruby started.

“Don’t say his name. I know. But I’m comfortable with my single status and I enjoy his friendship, why try to wreck things?” she said.  Emma was tired sometimes of people trying to make her find a guy and settle down even for a while. What was wrong with being single? Nothing. She was completely content with how she was now; she had a nice job and projects that were slowly coming to life. Why add drama?

“Okay. If you really believe that I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, dear Emma.” Ruby replied.

“Thanks, Ruby.”

“Hoes before bros, right?” Ruby laughed, she said that all the time.

“Hoes before bros, indeed, Ruby.” Emma replied.

 

* * *

 

 

Emma’s cell phone ringed and she picked up without looking who it was.

“Hello?”

“Swan, I’m got off work a little earlier, I’ll be there in ten. Is that fine?”  Killian asked. “Aye, aye, Captain” She replied with seriousness.

“Very well, then, sailor. I’ll expect you to be up in deck in ten minutes. Savvy?” he said.  Emma knew Killian loved playing pirate; he could go hours mocking her with pirate-like manners.

“Okay, stop, I’ll be there. Now go away.” Emma said.

“Okay, okay, fine. Jesus, you and your cock-blocking manners towards my astonishing pirate performance. You shouldn’t piss off your guide, Swan. It’s not only bad form, but a risk for your well-being.”

“Oh, scary. Bye, bye Jones.” She said and hung up before he could reply.

 

Emma gathered her backpack and all the papers she needed, she had already reserved a hotel room so when they got there they wouldn’t have to do an impromptu scavenger hunt.

When she got to the hall, she saw Killian talking with one of the receptionists, the girl was obviously flirting, leaning forward showing as much cleavage as the uniform could allow. Killian was no different, also leaning forward with his smirk plastered on his face and biting his bottom lip sometimes. The temptation was just too strong.

“Killy, there you are! Oh, hello Clara. How are you? I see you’ve met my friend Killian here. Are you ready to go, Killy?” Emma interrupted and put a hand on Killian’s bicep secretly winking at him before turning once more towards the receptionist. “Oh, Clara, you have no idea, he came all the way from London looking for me because he wants to propose to his boyfriend Robin, isn’t that adorable?” Emma said, grinning at Clara as she felt Killian’s posture froze. Clara leaned back, arranging her uniform with a polite yet stunned smile on her face.

“Oh, that’s amazingly sweet of you, Killian.” She said. Killian scratched behind his ear and smiled a bit.

“Yeah, I know. What can I say? My only regret is that I can’t make Emma here settle down, stop leaving the crazy life, you know. One guy a night, it’s definitely not healthy.” Killian pouted at Emma, with a glint of mischief on his eyes that screamed _Game On._

“We’ve both had our share of weekly one-night stands, Killy.” Emma pinched his cheek and his eyes burned her. She grinned at him. “Okay, big guy, we gotta go now, we have a proposal to plan.”  She pulled Killian by the arm towards the exit door. “Bye, Clara.” She managed to say and bursted into laughter when they were outside.

“What is wrong with you?” Killian asked even as he was laughing too.

“It was just too tempting, I couldn’t help myself.” Emma bursted laughing again, wiping tears from her eyes and was just calming herself when Killian dropped her over his shoulder.

“Ugh, Jones, not again, put me down.” She said and Killian started poking her on her side. “STOP THAT!”

“You cock-blocked me, Swan. Twice today.”  He swatted her lightly on the ass and she gasped, hitting his back with her fists before he let her go. “Ouch, you vicious little creature.” Killian massaged his back.

“That’s for invading my personal space… again. You don’t learn, do you?” Emma crossed her arms across her chest and lifted an eyebrow. Killian closed the space between them, Emma’s breath getting caught on her throat at the closeness and he leaned down to grab her backpack that was next to her on the ground.

“Nope, never learn.” He grinned at her and kissed her cheek. Emma scoffed and rolled her eyes, bringing down to a normal pace her erratic heartbeat.

They waited a cab that would take them to the ferry that would take them to England, and then they would take a train to London, they would arrive around midnight to the hotel and she was glad she had made reservations.

As they arrived to the ferry, Emma went directly to the outside part of the ship, two days of the week she had been near the sea and she loved it, she felt so free. Emma closed her eyes and gripped the railing sighing; they didn’t talk for a few minutes, enjoying the sound of the water below them.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Killian said looking at the water with a small smile on his face.

“It really is. I could get use to this view, don’t you think?” she replied. Killian looked at her for a few seconds before looking back to the water.

“Yes, me too.” He said.

 

 

They spent one hour outside, enjoying the sun and making small talk.

“Shit” Emma heard Killian said and pinch the bridge of his nose. “Shit.”

“What’s wrong, Jones?” she asked frowning. Killian looked to the water below before answering.

“Okay, don’t look now. I said don’t look, Swan. Jesus. There’s an… ex of mine here, not an ex, more like a one night stand that didn’t understand that it was just a one night stand.” Killian grimaced and passed a hand through his hair.

“Ouch, I hate it when that happens.” Emma looked around subtly and there was a blonde looking in Killian’s direction, only looking wasn’t exactly what she was doing, by the strength of her glare Emma was surprised Killian didn’t have a hole on his skull by now. She chuckled and stared at the floor, she had had a couple of guys asking her on a second date or wanting more than sex, and she always rejected them without thinking.

“Do you trust me?” Killian asked suddenly, touching her arm softly, not taking his eyes from hers.

“Not really.” Emma replied instantly, there was no necessity in lying to him, Killian could take it and if he couldn’t then he wasn’t who she thought he was. Killian grinned at her approvingly and she lifted and eyebrow.

“Just play along and don’t kick me later, okay?”  He said.

“Jones, what are you -?” Emma never finished because Killian’s lips touched her. Emma’s body froze at first, trying to process what was happening. Killian put a hand on the back of her neck pressing her closer against him, their lips just touching but then he nipped at Emma’s bottom lip and her body responded on her own accord as her mind was trying to remember what they were talking about before. Emma kissed him back slowly, her hands gripping the material of the flannel on his sides as she bit his bottom lip a little bit rougher than she intended before passing her tongue along it to soften the sting. Killian took advantage and deepened the kiss turning his head to the side¸ his tongue playing with Emma’s for dominance. The electricity running through her veins made her heart beat uncontrollably. When Emma’s mind catched up to the situation she broke the kiss but didn’t step back, she took account of the way her hands had clutched the collar of his flannel. Killian’s lips were a bit swollen from the kiss and his breathing was faster than normal, she could feel his breath on her face and closed her eyes a second to regain control of her mind and focus. When she looked back at him her face was expressionless.

“Don’t ever do that again or I’ll have to cut your manhood and feed it to the wolves, get it?” She said looking at him intently, letting her grip on him go slowly and trying to arrange his clothes a little. There was no use for her to slap him or make a scene, because she was sure the blonde must have watched them and Emma was sure any scene she could make would be nothing against the one that woman could do. Drama free life. She should get that tattooed.

Killian grinned at her. “Come on, love. Now, that wasn’t so bad, huh?” he passed a finger over his bottom lip and smirked. “I did tell everyone you were a biter; I can’t say that I complain, tho.” Emma fought the blush creeping to her cheeks as she glared venomously at him. She looked around the ferry and there were no signs of the blonde.

“She’s gone, Jones. You so owe me a drink after that.” She said and the speakers of the ship communicated they were arriving.

“I do. And thanks, if you ever want to bite someone again, you know where to find me” Killian winked at her and signalled to the exit of the ferry where people were starting to gather. She threw a last glance to the water, wondering if she had made the right decision coming here at all.

* * *

 

It was a little past midnight when they got to the Hotel, Emma was tired from the train, her back screaming for a bed to lay on. Killian next to her looks positively exhausted, his hair dishevelled and dark circles under his eyes. He looked cute like that, even if she was still quite angry because of what had happened earlier.

“Swan, you’re staring.” He said matter-of-factly as they entered the hotel hall.

“It’s just that you look like shit.” She replied with the same tone.

“Oh, I’m sorry my looks don’t quite please your considerate altruistic holy ass, your Highness.” Killian smiled charmingly at her and she grinned mockingly at him.

“Don’t make me bite you again.” She said.

“Oh, please, go ahead. Just know that I like to fight back.” He raised an eyebrow at her challengingly and Emma snorted.

“Please, you couldn’t handle it.” She said and kept walking towards the reception desk when Killian stood in front of her suddenly.

“Perhaps you’re the one who couldn’t handle it.” Killian answered her smirking and kept walking. Emma sighed and rubbed her eyes with her hand, he was tired but he still had the energy to piss her off. _What have you gotten into, Swan?_

 

“Hi, I’ve made a reservation for two rooms yesterday. My name is Emma Swan.” She told the guy behind the desk.

“Sure, let me check, Emma.” He said and smiled warmly at Emma; she heard Killian snort softly behind her and turned around with a confused look on her face. He wasn’t even looking at her. “Uhm… Miss Emma, I think there might’ve been a confusion, you reserved one room only, with the king size bed.” The receptionist guy said and Emma felt her eyes open wide.  
“You scoundrel, already wanting to get to me to your bed.” Killian said on her ear, she pushed him away.

“Shut up, Jones. No, I’m sorry, there must be some kind of mistake, I reserved two separated bedrooms” Emma emphasized the word separated. “Can we change that? Or I don’t know?...” Emma begged him

“I’m sorry, but all the other rooms are taken, this is the only one. I believe tomorrow there might be some hotel rooms free by noon, but tonight we just have that one bedroom. I’m sorry.” He concluded.

“But…” Emma started and was cut by Killian’s hand on her shoulder.

“Swan, can I talk to you for a little bit?” he said. Emma hesitated at first, but he didn’t have his usual mocking expression on him.

“Yeah. We’ll be right back.” She told the reception boy.

“What’s wrong?” she asked as they were farther away from the desk.

“Swan, I’m tired. I know that you’re tired. Why don’t we just take the room for tonight and tomorrow we change it?” He sighed and passed a hand through his hair, messing it up even more. “Look, we’re both grown-ups and we’re friends. Besides, you listened to him, it’s a king sized bed, we won’t even have to be near each other whilst we sleep. I promise I won’t touch that feathery body of yours, Emma.” The way he said her name confused her. Emma used her lie detector on him and it didn’t even blink, he was right, they were both tired from the journey and the long day, he had been working all day in the studio.

The fact that they had kissed didn’t mean they were ever going to do that again, Emma didn’t want anything to do with anybody, especially if that anybody was her… friend. She could do this, even if her body tensed at the thought of being near him in the strangely intimate task that was sleeping, even more so because she found it rather difficult even lying by herself to sleep. Emma took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of her nose briefly.

“Okay, but you touch me and you’re dead. You hear me?” She said and not expecting an answer from him, walked right back to the desk to order the keys to the room.

 

They arrived to the hotel room and as soon as Killian saw the bed, he slumped face first on it and groaned.

“I’m gonna marry this bed.” He said and Emma snorted, leaving her things on one of the chairs and starting to take out her pajama, which consisted on an old tshirt and pajama shorts and headed to the bathroom, Killian still lying in the same position.

She changed clothes and freshened a little before returning, Killian was already changed… or half changed as he was only wearing pajama pants and wasn’t wearing a tshirt. Emma stopped walking as she saw him, the breath catching on her throat, fire starting from the pit of her stomach in all directions. She recovered herself and kept walking to her backpack, leaving her folded clothes over it.

“Aren’t you gonna use a t-shirt?” she asked nonchalantly not looking at him.

“Well, if you’re gonna use those shorts and show off those beautiful legs I can sleep bare chested.” Killian said standing up and winking at her as he turned around to glare at him, wanting to cover herself with something.

“Asshole” She said and narrowed her eyes at him, his grin growing wider. “You better not touch me or I will kick you out of the bed and you’ll sleep on the floor.”

 

* * *

 

 

She woke up warm. Emma shifted to get closer to the source of heat against her, still asleep. It took her about ten seconds to realise what was happening and freeze in place as she gathered information about her surroundings. An arm was hugged tightly over her waist and she realised she was holding the hand that belonged to that arm, as if unconsciously making sure they wouldn’t let go. The source of heat cuddling with her had his –bare–  chest against her back. The source of heat suddenly sighed and Emma realised she was not the only one awake.

“On the scale from 1 to 10, how much are you freaking out, Swan?” he asked in a whisper, Emma closed her eyes at the feeling of his voice near her ear, her heart was beating out of control and she was fighting the rising panic.

“It depends on whether you did this awake or asleep.” She said a little breathless.

“And what makes you think this was all my doing?” He said and moved a little his hand to make her notice the way she was holding onto it, she immediately let it go. Killian sighed and laid on his back beside her, his warm leaving her and Emma had to use every ounce of her self-control not to moan at that loss. “I woke up and we were in that position. I don’t even remember moving, Swan.” His voice gave nothing away, but she could feel the stillness of his body mirroring hers.

“In that case I’m a solid 6” she answered his question and sighed, moving to sit on the bed, not yet looking at him. The truth that was haunting her was that she felt well rested, she had slept better than she had in months, the only way of feeling this rested for her was to exhaust herself or take sleeping pills.

Emma finally turned to look at him and catched him looking at her, his arm in her direction as he had attempted to reach for her and had regretted it last minute. He looked positively ravished, his hair in every direction and his eyes a little hooded from sleep. He smiled softly at her and Emma looked away, his gaze too heavy for her to hold.

“Nothing happened, and it doesn’t matter because today they will change us to another room with single beds, hopefully.” She said and got up, ignoring the way his smile faltered a little.

“Aw, not a cuddler I take it, Swan?” He said and put his hand behind his head, smirking at her.

“Not if I can help it.” She replied getting clothes from her backpack. “Now get changed, tour guide, you have a job accomplish.”  She told him smirking before heading to the bathroom.

 

 

The rest of the day was amazing, Emma took tons of photos. They first went to the centre of London, visiting the London eye, looking at the Big Ben and the Westminster cathedral, passing by Trafalgar square and then eating on Piccadilly Circus. Killian was an amazing guide, to her surprise. He knew a lot of tales and historical facts about the places as he walked her through London. She took the liberty of taking several pictures of him too, using Killian as his living model, when she felt the photo needed a person, she would tell him to stand where she needed him. He would goof around and make silly face, ruining a few photos before regaining seriousness and doing what she asked, the accident from this morning completely forgotten.

They had walked past a couple of guys playing the guitar, they stayed watching them and Killian singed along whispering the words as he smiled. One of the guys playing asked him to join them and Killian looked at Emma as if asking her if he could, which surprised her a little, she smiled softly and nodded, he kissed her cheek and she glared at him mumbling something about personal space. Killian got closer to the performers and asked if they had an extra guitar or something, they had a ukulele. Soon Killian was jamming along the street performers, making more people pay attention to them. They were great, Emma thought as she smiled at Killian’s performance. She admired the way he moved and easily showed himself to other people, she couldn’t do it. She hated being the centre of attention.

 

They walked through London till it was dark and they found a simple restaurant to have dinner, eating fish and chips, just because if you were in London you had to at least once eat fish and chips, Killian insisted.

When they reached the hotel, Emma headed to the desk to retrieve the new keys of their new bedroom, convincing herself that what she felt when they told her they had their new room was complete and utter relief, nothing more… but as Emma laid alone on her double bed, her mind working rapidly and insomnia taking over, she started feeling a weird nostalgia towards the good sleep she had had yesterday, hoping to sleep like that too, but apparently it was not going to happen. She would never admit it, not even to herself, but she missed Killian’s warmth but mostly she missed a good night sleep so badly, she was not used to sleeping like that naturally and she almost felt like weeping as her insomnia mocked her, a hint of hysteria rising over her. Almost two hours after, she was exhausted but couldn’t find peace to sleep, she dammed Killian to hell for making her miss sleeping. Really, all she wanted was to sleep, was that so much to ask?

“Killian?” she whispered to see if he was still awake, her mind disconnecting from her body and self-control. She was done with this shit.

“Yes?” she felt him whisper back, and she stopped. What was he doing awake? Was he suffering as she was? Emma closed her eyes to gain the strength to stop the next words that escaped her mouth, but the tiredness was a strong pull.

“Killian… I’m… I’m cold.” She said so softly Emma was wondering if he had heard her, she hated the shyness and the hint of neediness of her voice, but she was beyond caring fully, tonight she just wanted to sleep. She knew Killian knew it was a lie, she wasn’t cold, she just didn’t want to accept the fact that she needed him with her. Emma was about to ask if he was asleep when she heard him get up, and next thing Emma knew the side of her bed behind her sunk down under his weight, she forgot how to breath for the next seconds as he crawled next to her and slowly accommodated his body to hers, Emma could feel his arm hesitate as he pulled it over her waist, they sighed in unison at the contact. Emma pressed herself closer to him, his chest against her back and touched her hand to his, not gripping it like she had yesterday, but touching it. Killian’s thumb softly caressed her hand.

It didn’t take long to find the peace they both were searching for and sleep.

 

* * *

 

The next morning she woke up alone in bed, Emma looked around trying to search for the missing person in the room and she found him on the balcony, both hands on the railing looking outside. Emma let her still semi-asleep- self enjoy the view of his lean back muscles and arms, remembering the strong hold that embraced her last night, she felt her cheek flush, this was all kinds of wrong and she knew it but the thing was that the longer she got to know him, the less she cared about it. They were finding the balance in their relationship where they gently took what they wanted from each other and never talked about it after that had happened. Emma found herself relaxing, this dynamic turned easy to her, actions and desires she could manage, they were easy and predictable, feelings were twisted creatures that ringed dissonant on her ears.

Killian turned around to her and smiled when he saw her awake.

“Hello Beautiful, ready for another adventurous day?” He asked and Emma stood up from bed, getting a high five from him.

Yes, Emma could totally handle this relationship.

 

* * *

 

Emma accommodated her red dress, looking back at her form on the mirror, her hair fell softly in waves around her, the dress hugged her curves like she liked it, Ruby would say she was dressed to impress and she was right, she had in about an hour her date with Graham. She wasn’t nervous in the slightest, after all this could have just one ending and that included Emma returning to Boston with no links towards him, just a one night stand and nothing more. Feeling more than pleased with herself she took her purse and the bag with Killian’s misplaced t-shirt, she had found it on her backpack when they came back to Dublin, and was supposed to go to the Studio to give it back before heading to the restaurant where she was meeting Graham.

 

When she got to the studio Ariel was, as usual, behind her desk and her eyes grew wider as she saw Emma.

“Wow, you look gorgeous Emma! You meeting Graham or trying to give him a heart attack?”  Ariel smiled back at her and Emma giggled at the compliment.

“Just meeting him and before that I have to give this back to your annoying boss, where is he?” She asked and Ariel pointed the corridor

“Studio A, Emms.”

 

Emma knocked on the door of the studio and heard a muffled “Come in” from the other side, she opened the door and Killian was looking at the musicians from the control room.

“I’m delivering your missing t-shirt.” She said and left the bag on the side of the couch, when she looked at him he was staring at her with wide eyes and his mouth was a little open. She frowned. “What? What’s wrong?” she asked and looked down to herself and didn’t find anything wrong.

“Wrong? That’s what’s wrong.” He said and pointed at the dress. “That’s sinfully wrong, who are you trying to kill?” he said and she raised an eyebrow smirking at him.

“Graham. You like it?” She said and turned quickly on her place, with her hands on her hips. Killian’s expression darkened little.

“Graham? Really? You are dating him? I don’t approve, love, your ass looks extremely gorgeous in that and he doesn’t deserve an ass like that.” He replied crossing his arms across his chest before telling the musicians to take five, Emma could see a few of the ogling at her from the other side of  the glass.

“If I didn’t know you any better I’d say you sound jealous, captain.” She said teasing him. Killian laughed.

“Me? Jealous of that poor guy? Yeah, sure. I’m far more handsome and charming. I’m just saying I don’t like him for you, lass… for you or that amazing backside of yours” He winked at her and got closer, taking her hand before making her turn around. “Yep, he’s definitely not worth that ass’s time.” His expression sobered. “You look ravishing, Swan.” Killian smirked and sat on the couch, her stomach doing a flip inside her.

“I’m still going to date him and hopefully get me some. Don’t sound like a big brother.” She said, he was having the same reaction David would have. She rolled her eyes as she thought about it.

“Are you kidding me? You can’t sleep with him!” Killian said and looked at her as she had just said she was thinking about killing kitties.

“Excuse me? Why not?” she asked him, getting angrier.

“Because… because just no. He’s…” Killian seemed to struggle to find words. “I don’t trust him.” He finished and she snorted.  
“Well, you don’t have to trust him.” She replied.  
“Yes, I do. Aren’t we friends?” Killian asked and she sighed.

“I guess, but I’m still going out with him, Jones.” She said and looked at him right in the eye, they might be friends but she decided what to do with her life.

“Fine.” He said simply and raised his hands as he silently told her he gave up.

“Great, I’ll see you later, Jones.” She walked out and went to her date.

 

* * *

 

The night was great; they went to a restaurant and chatted while they ate. Graham ogled at her as he first saw her, and she felt like saying “mission accomplished”. His hand rested low on her back as they entered the restaurant and she dammed her brain for linking that action to Killian’s comments.

Graham was refreshing and a complete gentleman, much different to Killian’s personality, Graham was calmer and his innuendos were more innocent. Emma relaxed as she took often the lead of the date, he was a handsome man and surely, when they walked to the park, somehow they ended sitting on a bench and immersed on a mild make out session. Something on the back of Emma’s head told her she hadn’t feel like this with Killian, that this kiss didn’t make her burn inside out.  She shut out her brain and asked Graham if he wanted to come to her hotel with her, trying to erase any thoughts of blue eyes from her mind. Fucking bastard.

Graham gently declined even though his eyes were filled with lust she felt something was off about them and she couldn’t understand what.

As Emma entered her hotel room she understood the emotion behind Graham eyes and was extremely confused to find it was nostalgia… of what, she wouldn’t know.  She laid on her bed, the cold of it making her heart clench, it had been two says since they had come back from London and she had sleep horribly both nights, her body ached from the lack of sleep and she dammed Killian to hell all over again for destroying the little sleep she usually had.

Damn Killian freaking Jones and his calming presence.


	8. Breakthrough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry again for taking so long to update, this is kinddddddd of a short one.  
> Also, i've been needing a beta, or someone just to talk about the story and characters, help me figure stuff out and so on. Someone who (obviously) doesn't mind the spoilers. If any of you are interested let me know here or on my tumblr (fueledbybookss).   
> Thank you again for all the love and support. You are amazing. 
> 
> PS: Should there be any mistakes, please let me know :)

“You have the bachelor party tonight?” Emma asked sitting next to him on his couch, they had cooked something and now they were just lying on the couch comfortably, her legs over his lap as they enjoyed the silence.

“I would ask you to come, but you know, guys night only.” He replied and took a sip of his beer.

“You seem awfully excited about this.” She said and pushed him with her foot.

“I am, I want my brother to have a good time, it’s just… I think I miss Boston. I miss my apartment; this is also my place, but… I don’t know. I guess I just miss it.” Emma was silent for a few moments and when he looked at her she had a pensive expression on her face.

“Do you consider Boston, I mean, your apartment there your home?” she asked softly and Killian was a little taken aback by the weird question.

“I guess so, it’s the place where I feel most comfortable. If that’s where home’s supposed to be, then yes.” He finished and Emma bit her bottom lip, his eyes darting quickly at the action. He hadn’t forgot how it was to kiss her, damn it, Killian thought that if he hadn’t burst into flames that time, he was pretty much immortal. He hadn’t expected a kiss like that, just a little show so Tink would go away, but when he bit her softly, Killian could practically hear the cord of her self-control snapping and thank God he was there to see –and feel- it. He throat became dry with the thoughts and he took a swing at his beer, hoping to erase the feel of her lips over his. 

“Why do you ask?” he asked as he caressed absentmindedly her denim-covered leg. Emma shrugged.

“I just, I’ve never had that. Somewhere homey, somewhere where I feel 100% comfortable.” Emma stopped talking abruptly. “It’s kinda pathetic, really.”

“It’s not pathetic, I’m sure you’ll find that place someday.”  Killian smiled softly at her, ignoring the way he wanted to wrap his arms around her to comfort her, he had never seen Emma get smaller, but right now she lowered herself on the couch as she closed her eyes. Emma was still a mystery for Killian, sometimes he could read her like an open book and then he would have no clue how to act around her.

“I should get going. You have a hot party to get to.” Emma said after a while standing up. Killian sighed, he wasn’t exactly in the mood for a party, we would much rather stay on the couch with her.

He kissed her cheek before she walked out the door, and she narrowed her eyes at him as if reprimanding him but she had a small smile on her face.

 

* * *

 

 

The party started okay, they had planned to visit almost every bar in a walk-distance ratio from the studio. They started lightly, a few beers here and there, and then they moved to the rum and whiskey by the third bar. They were a loud group of nearly 10 clearly getting shitfaced guys.

When they entered the fourth bar, Killian was wandering all over the place, something he tended to do when he was drunk, he would wander around, looking at everything. He was about to go back when on one of the walls there was a painting of a couple of Swans. He started laughing, he really was getting drunk and decided to take a picture with it and send it to Emma.

 

**You didn’t tell me you were coming.**

It took Killian 3 tries to write it correctly. He should start drinking water for a while, damn, he was getting old, couldn’t hold his alcohol so well anymore.

 

_HA! Those are my distant cousins, I believe. They are defiantly prettier than me._

Killian snorted at the text, and started the adventure of trying to write correctly another text.

 

**No way, you are way more beautiful.**

Something on the back of his mind told him that he shouldn’t drunk text, that this could end badly. But of course, he didn’t listen to himself.

 

**What are you doing awake? Can’t sleep?**

_Nope, I have a horrible insomnia._

He was about to reply but Robin started screaming his name, Killian groaned putting his phone on his front pocket and walked back to the group.

They turned to the fifth bar, they started doing tequila shots, Killian drank one and he had to check if he had turned himself on a dragon, because he was sure he was breathing fire. That’s when John approached them. John was a distant cousin of Killian and had always got along better with Liam that he had with him, there was something off with him and Killian never talked a lot with him.

“Killian, Killian. We never talk, bro. Tell me, how’s life, huh? Oh, how’s that girlfriend of yours? M… M… Milah, was it?” Killian stopped breathing, feeling his throat close as he gasped for air. His heart violently pulsating in his chest, he closed his eyes trying to calm himself. This was not happening

Images of bright eyes and glossy hair flooded Killian’s brain, he couldn’t stop it. He had spent most of last year closing those memories in the darkest part of his brain and throwing away the key, now her name had erased every improvement he had done, in just a second, he felt his loss all over again.

“She died.” He managed to say, barely controlling the way his voice broke a little at the last word. Killian passed his hand over his face, he suddenly felt more sober than ever. “Excuse me for a second.” He said not even bothering to look back at John, fuck John and started making his way to the bar, the only way he had found to forget… drink himself to oblivion.

 

Not even an hour later, Killian was destroyed, he was sure he had drunk all the rum on the bar and he couldn’t care less. The clouds established around him, welcoming him back to his usual brooding humour. John had tried apologizing but Killian didn’t even look at him. Robin asked him if he was alright and Killian nodded and plastered on his face his best fake smirk, be wasn’t sure Robin bought it but he let it pass for now. Minutes passed and Killian couldn’t contain his rage, his frustrations, his hatred in check anymore, the alcohol making it nearly impossible to control himself. He stood up, telling Liam he was heading home, hoping his brother wouldn’t notice the way his body had a hard time walking straight, apparently he was an A+ actor, or maybe it was that his brother was too inebriated himself to notice anything.

 

Killian let his feet lead the way, as soon as he was outside the tears began to fall, he angrily wiped them, nearly falling with his own force. Why was life so complicated?  Why did he have to feel so broken? It wasn’t fair. He suddenly decided that if his mind was a garden, it was full of thistle and weeds growing out of control, making it harder to see anything, swallowing him whole.

He kept walking, not minding where he was going, he just walked and walked and walked, losing track of time, losing himself in his grief. It took him about ten minutes to understand where he was, looking absentmindedly at the hotel room door, just standing there, he felt empty inside and so full of darkness at the same time. Killian turned away from the door, pulling at his hair a little. He shouldn’t be here, what was he doing here? He couldn’t think, and this frustrated him even further, his mind full of white useless noise. Killian hit his head to the wall next to him a few times and stood there, trying to clear his mind.

“Killian?” he heard from behind him and it was like the sun had filtered a little through his cloudy mind, he let a shuddering breath leave his mouth without turning around. He felt her hand on his shoulder and slowly turned around to face her, Emma’s face had concern written all over her face.

“Killian, are you okay?” she whispered, looking at him intently. Killian closed his eyes, trying to breath properly again and shook his head instead of talking because he didn’t trust his voice right now. Her hand moved to his cheek and her thumb caressed his face.

“Let’s go inside, okay?” she said softly. Emma was looking and talking to him like she was afraid to scare him and in another moment that would have bothered him or amused him. But tonight he couldn’t feel anything but pain.

He sat on the edge of her unmade bed, there was a book on her bedside table.

“Still couldn’t sleep?” he finally said as she sat beside him.

“No, I was trying to read something but that didn’t work either.” She replied and turned to look at him, inspecting every inch of his face. “Are you drunk?”  Emma finally asked and Killian snorted without humour.

“Shitfaced.” He replied and he could feel the exhaustation taking over him, he was so tired of everything, he wanted peace. Maybe that was the reason he was here in the first place.

“Killian… what happened?” she asked, putting a hand over his tight, reassuring him. Killian stared at her hand and started drawing over her skin with his index finger, tracing her knuckles and wrist.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”  He whispered.  
“Can you at least tell me what you are doing here?” she asked and there wasn’t a trace of anger on her tone, just plain curiosity. Killian sighed again.

“I don’t remember getting here, to be honest.” He said, giving her the truth. “I think I just want to sleep, is that okay?” his voice sounded a little unsteady and he hated himself more for it, he looked at her hand again, avoiding her eyes. “That night we slept together in London… I haven’t sleep like that in months, Emma. Like you, I have this fucked up insomnia and I’m so, so tired. So tired.” He looked back at her, Emma was looking at him with a soft expression on her face. He closed the distance between them, wanting to feel her closer, Killian put his forehead on hers and closed his eyes, inhaling her scent. He was afraid she would pull back, but she didn’t. “Please, Em.” His voice barely audible. Emma didn’t reply for a few moments and he was about to pull away from her and go when he felt her hands on his face, pulling it down and then she kissed his forehead softly. His heart constricted on his chest at the gesture, Killian slowly opened his eyes and looked down at her. She smiled softly at him and he found himself mimicking her smile.

“Let’s go to sleep, okay? We can talk tomorrow.” She said and he knew he would not only have a terrible hangover tomorrow, but he would have to explain everything to her.

 

She laid down on her bed and Killian disposed of his clothes feeling like they were chocking him. He stayed on his boxers, and started walking to the bed, Emma had already turned her light off and he turned off the one on his side. He laid down on the bed, his body still tensed, he damned himself to hell, he needed to hold Emma closer, it was a need he had developed a few days ago all of a sudden. Shutting down his brain and turning around to face her, he grabbed softly her arm and pulled her to the middle of the bed.

“What are you…” she started to say but then shut up when Killian moved to lay between her legs, he hovered over her for a second before laying his head on her stomach, his arms stayed limp on his sides. Killian could feel her muscles tense and she wasn’t breathing.  _You’ve gone too damn far, you bloody idiot, you have overstepped the boundaries._ He was thinking about if he should return to his side of the bed and punch himself for taking too many liberties on his actions or pretend to be already asleep when he felt her breath slowly again and to his utter surprise then felt her fingers caress his hair, her body now relaxed, he sighed happily, Killian could feel the heavy clouds dissipating, he welcomed the kind of numbness that came with falling sleep and the warmth that Emma’s body gave under him.

 

* * *

 

 

His brain pounded in a way that should be illegal, he groaned as he put his hands over his eyes, trying to shut out the light coming from the window. The bed felt too hard, the pillow weird. He tried to understand his surroundings as he slowly opened his eyes again. A flash of gold hair made him turn his head to the side; Emma was looking at him, lying on her side. As their eyes locked she gave him a small smile, clearly a little uncomfortable. All that happened yesterday came rushing back in a hazy wave and he closed his eyes a few seconds, he was an asshole.

“Hey.” She said in a whisper.

“Hey.” Killian rasped, his voice rough from sleep. He cleared his throat and turned to his side, now both of them facing each other. “Sorry about yesterday.” He grimaced and avoided her gaze.

“It’s okay, Killian. I just… I was worried.” She replied, looking at him intently. She didn’t push him, but he could see the curiosity in her eyes.

“I suppose I should explain…” he said and sighed. He slowly reached to her and pulled a strand of hair behind her ear, she didn’t move and he let his hand fall next to hers. “Mind if we talk while we take coffee? I could really use a cup to activate my brain.” He smiled softly at her and she snorted, getting up from the bed, his gaze following her body.

 

They sat on a little coffee shop near Emma’s hotel. She was in front of him, looking at him waiting. He scratched behind his ear, he didn’t feel like rummaging in his old mind, especially after last night and even more so with the fucking headache he was having, but he had to explain to Emma what had happened, he owned her that. He sighed as he tried failing to unwrinkle his shirt.

“Four years ago I met this woman, Milah.” He swallowed the knot on his throat. “She was married, but I didn’t care… we didn’t care. We fell in love. We were lovers for a couple of years. I really loved her, she was so beautiful. Blue eyes, brunette curls.” He smiled at the thought of her fading face. “But then, all of a sudden, she told me she needed to go back to her husband. I didn’t understand at first, and then she caved and told me she needed to go back because he had found out and was threatening to take their child with him and never allowing her to see him again. Fucking bastard.” His hand turned into a fist on the table. “A few weeks after that she… she… committed suicide. Or that’s what It looked like, I will never believe he never had nothing to do with it, but there wasn’t a proof to lock him up so he walked away free. Yesterday on the party one of the guys there, John, a cousin of ours… We never talk, he’s friend with Liam, not me. Anyway, he… he asked me how Milah was and I just couldn’t handle it. It was too much, you know?” Emma took his hand on the table and he smiled gratefully at her. “I got drunk and went away. I really don’t remember anything clearly from the party till the moment I entered your room.” He finished, taking a deep breath.

“I’m so sorry, Killian.” She said softly. “John is an asshole. If you need me to punch him I will.” Emma smiled at him and he chuckled.

“He’s not the brightest bloke I’ve ever met, but he meant no harm, Swan. No need to punch anyone.” Killian squeezed her hand softly. “I’m really sorry about last night, Emma. It wasn’t… gentlemanly of me.”

“I told you it’s okay. We’re friends, right? Besides I was still awake.” She said, letting go of his hand to grab her muffin and start eating it.

“Then, I want to thank you… if you won’t let me apologize.” He said.

“Great, you buy lunch then.” She simply said and smiled at him. “A big, greasy hamburger. With lots of fries and ketchup.” Emma said slowly and he groaned, the thought of the food making him want to throw up and eat thousands of burgers at the same time. Emma laughed.

“You are evil.” He said and scrunched his nose at her.

 

* * *

 

 

He had Friday free and he decided to spend most of it on his couch with his guitar.

He had another show before he had to go back to Boston, two more weeks and he would be sleeping on his bed, he missed his bed the most. The one in Dublin had a bittersweet memory to him, having spent a couple of months with Milah here before she went back to her husband. Killian’s hand abruptly stopped their strumming and went to his face, rubbing it furiously. He got up from the couch and started the shower, waiting for it to warm when he heard his cell phone ring in the distance. Emma’s photo was blinking in his display, he had taken that in London when they were eating ice-cream nearby the eye of London. It consisted on a smiling Emma with her face a little dirty with ice-cream he had smeared across her face. He smiled at the memory.

“Sailor?” He greeted.

“Captain.” She said. “Are you at your cave?” Emma asked.

“About to take a shower. Why?” he asked, holding his cell phone between his ear and shoulder as he grabbed clothes to wear.

“I have to tell you something.” She simply said. “I’ll be there in 10.”

“Are you going to kick me? Because if that’s the case, tell me so I don’t open the door.” He replied.

“I won’t be kicking you, Jones. Unless you make me.”

“You know I always behave. I’ll take that shower now. See you soon, Camera girl.”

 

He was just finishing putting his pants when there was a knock on the door. Killian barely opened the door, just his head was visible.

“You’re not gonna kick me, are you?” he asked narrowing his eyes at her.

“Only if you don’t open this door. I have rum.”  Emma raised her hand to show the bottle on it.

“Ah, you said the secret word.” He winked at her and opened the door.  Emma entered, going directly to the kitchen to put the bottle on the counter, when she turned around her eyes widened comically as she saw his naked chest, Killian felt his skin getting hotter as she licked her lips barely.

“See something you like, love?” He smirked widely as he took a step closer to her and turned a strand of her hair on his finger. She glared at him.

“You wish.” Emma poked him on the ribs and turned around.   
“Oh, you have no idea.” He said and tried to ignore the heaviness on his stomach as he unconsciously knew it was absolutely true. _Great Killian, you make a friend and you already want to fuck them senseless. Just great._ Killian damned the kiss that started it all as Emma snorted.

“Where do you have the glasses?” She asked looking at this kitchen. Killian walked in her direction, placing a hand on her hips to move her a little so he could reach the glasses on the cabinet.

“What’s the occasion, love?” he asked as Emma poured them a drink.

“Graham called me earlier, telling me he had to talk to me, so I met him for a coffee and he broke it off. Told me he had asked me on a date because he wanted to feel something, his girlfriend had broken up with him a couple of weeks ago and now they’re back together. So, no sex for me.” Emma raised her glass and clinked it with his. Killian laughed. “Hey, don’t laugh. This is a serious matter, he was hot.”

“Oh, I’m sorry lass. I told you he wasn’t worthy, how on earth would he give you up for whoever his girlfriend is?” he asked and took a sip of his rum.

“He said her name is Mulan. Does it ring a bell?” she asked.

“Mulan Williams? Oh, now I get it why he would give you up, she is the definition of hot. Damn, that body.” He said and Emma hit him in the chest.

“You’re MY friend, you’re supposed to make me feel better.” She pouted at him and he chuckled.   
“I was joking. You’re beautiful, Swan… and your hot arse doesn’t hurt either.”  He winked at her and Emma blushed a little bit before smiling at him.

“That’s more like the asshole of a friend I have. I was wondering where you were.” Emma ruffled his hair as she made her way to the couch.

“I’m an excellent friend, mind you.” He replied.

“An excellent friend would give me a massage.” Emma batted her eyelashes on his direction, a small smile on her face. _Adorable_ , he thought.

“You’re right, I’m an asshole of a friend.” He said and sat next to her on the couch, putting his legs and bottle of rum on his coffee table. “And you know, if you ever need sex, you know where to find me. I don’t mind getting bitten.” Killian winked at her and Emma brought her face to her hands as he chuckled.

“You’re mad and incorrigible.” She said and Killian thought her eyes darted to his lips for a fraction of a second, but it was so quick he wasn’t sure. He could only hope and chastise himself for really being an asshole of a friend as his desire grew every day.


	9. Bring me the light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writer's block suck.

Emma never really understood the attraction people felt when they saw a guitarist or a lead singer, how women would melt as soon as they knew the fact that either you played the guitar or singed, but looking at Killian playing his guitar softly as he whispered the words of the song she suddenly understood. Which was stupid, and incoherent, and stupid, and foolish, and stupid, stupid, _stupid._

The way his right arm laid in the guitar as he strummed softly, his relaxed stance and wrinkle-free forehead, she could watch and listen to him for hours. _She didn’t just thought that._

“ _And I’ve got a hot Swan staring bluntly at me, ‘cause you can see I’m so damn sexy. Let’s make love, not war, but I like the way she bites me_.” He changed the words to whatever song he had been singing, face torn in fake concentration and she couldn’t help but giggle. “ _Oh, look, she smiles! What a sight for sore eyes, with that devilishly smirk she could turn the world beneath her feet, see what I did? My rhymes are sick.”_ He finished with a loud strum on his guitar and got up, waving at the walls as if they were people. “Thank you, thank you. I’ll see you next show.” Killian smirked at her and sat back down on the couch as she clapped slowly.

“Very impressive, Jones. Very impressive.  I’d say I’m flattered but we wouldn’t want to make your ego bigger.” She teased and once more ignored her desire to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him senseless. Lately it had been all she could think about and it freaked the hell out of her. She was glad she only had three days left here and she would probably never see him again… and yet, the uneasy feeling that thought brought  told her glad shouldn’t be the word she had to use, but she was Emma Swan so she avoided the topic all together.

“Oh, come on, lass! A personal song written by the dashing Killian Jones. So many girls would die to be in your shoes.”  He replied as he got closer to her, dropping his arm on the couch being her. She took a deep breath to calm herself. Seriously, this was getting so stupid she couldn’t groan enough to compensate.

“As I said, big ego. No need stroking it.” She replied.

“Well, do you want to stroke anything else?” Killian smirked at her and wiggled his eyebrows. And if anyone asked why she did what she did next, she would say a demon possessed her.

Emma batted her eyelashes and put her hand over his tight, Killian’s smiled faltering a bit. She smirked just as tauntingly as him, Emma let her hand creep higher in a slow matter as she watched his face turn serious and his eyes dart to her lips quickly, when she was a few inches from his crotch she patted his tight and leaned away.

“No, thank you very much.” Sounding less breathless than she felt, she smirked widely at him.

“You’re playing with fire, Swan.” He said with a low voice that mad her blood burn. “You might as well not fidget when you get burn.” Killian simply smiled and put a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“And makes you think I will get burned?” She regretted asking it as the words left her mouth, but she couldn’t stop them. Emma was not herself around him, she would flirt, get nervous, get so freaked out she would close herself so bluntly that sometimes even she couldn’t let herself in. Emma lifted her eyes hesitantly at him and she wished she hadn’t. His blue eyes had darkened a few tones, her mouth suddenly gone dry.

“Because people like us, we are fire… and that’s what we attract, love. Just remember being burnt isn’t always a bad thing, sometimes it’s better to just let everything catch on fire.” He winked at her even if his eyes were still stormy.

“Are you some kind of pyromaniac?” She asked trying to evade the conversation as it stood way further from her comfort zone that she cared to admit.

“Only in the important stuff.” He replied and patted her tight just as she had done earlier before standing up.

As the distance between them grew only one thought crossed her mind.

 

 

This had to stop.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“I miss you so much, Emma. Please, please, please, please come back.” Ruby said over the phone in a whiny tone.

“Only two days more and I’ll be there, Ruby. No need to cry.” She replied.

“No, you don’t understand my problems because you have a hot guy to spend your time with while I’m all alone here in the office… with Regina… alone.”  Emma laughed at the serious tone her friend used. Truth is, she missed Boston and Ruby too. She missed all her friends, being in Dublin had her nerves run wildly the last few days since the trip to London. Not that it was Dublin’s fault… but Killian’s. A headache beginning to form on her skull made her sigh.

“I don’t have a hot guy to spend my time with, I have Killian and his friends.” She said and smirked, if he had been there she’d be in trouble.

“Right, and I can’t hear your smile when you talk about him. Nope, not at all. You’re right.” Ruby said.

“You have Victor, Ruby!”

“I know, but he’s busy and he doesn’t work here!” Ruby used her loud voice. “Just, come back, okay? I’m hoping to meet your handsome irish pirate.” 

“What do you mean?” Emma said confused.

“Well, he’s lives in Boston too, remember? I was just wondering when I will meet him.” Ruby deadpanned.

“Ruby, I’m not even sure if I’m gonna keep in touch…” She whispered and the only response Ruby had for a few seconds was pure silence.

“WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? OF COURSE YOU’RE GONNA KEEP IN TOUCH, HOPEFULLY VERY IN TOUCH AS IN THE SAME BED WEARING NO CLOTHES.” Ruby screamed. Seriously, Emma would have to talk her about screaming on the phone. “You’re insane if you think I’m gonna let you do this, Emma Swan. That boy is good to you.” She finished.

“Should I remind you, dear Ruby, that you haven’t met him yet?” Emma replied.

“The only evidence I need is the happy tone you use when you talk about something even remotely related to him.”

“Whatever floats you boat, wolfie.” She said.

 

The rest of the day went without trouble. Emma went around Dublin buying souvenirs for her friends. Picking a dress for Ruby, a perfume for Regina, a few beers for David and finally a necklace for Mary Margaret. Happy with herself, Emma went back to the hotel happily singing down the corridor, but she stopped as soon as she reached her door.

Killian was sitting on the ground with his back to the door, strumming his guitar absentmindedly. Emma’s forehead creased with a frown, ignoring how her chest burned.

“What are you doing?” she asked as he reached him, he stopped his strumming  to smile at her.

“I’m here to take you to dinner.” Killian said and put his guitar on its case quickly, he must’ve watched Emma’s confused expression because he talked again. “I was bored, you were near, I was hungry and you were near.” He simply replied and smiled at Emma who just rolled her eyes and opened the door.

“I have packing to do, Jones.”

“Oh, come on, Swan. A couple of hours, I promise Granny’s burgers… I’ll pay.” He said and pouted.

“Are you pouting? Really? Geez, what are you, 5?” She snorted and he looked offended.

“Oi! I’m 6, mind you. Perfectly grown man” Killian said. “Need help packing later, love?” He asked and Emma turned to watch him. Sometimes he would do these things and it left her dumbstruck. She inspected his face once again, as she did every time he would go and do something so out of character with the playboy I-don’t-give-a-damn mask he wore everyday, Emma would be lying if she said it didn’t make her heart flutter.

“It’s okay, I can handle packing on my own, I didn’t bring that many stuff.” She replied and walked back to set a much needed physical distance between them.

“Right, the whole ‘I’m an independent woman who don’t need no man, grr I’m fierce’ thing… It’s okay, I’ll have to pull back my guns.” Killian says as he cheekily pats his arm.

“I can’t believe you just said that but don’t sweat it, you just have to be with me one day more and then you’re free…” She laughed as she sets aside the gifts she bought, near the other stuff she needs to pack. Emma doesn’t realise the tension in the air until it’s too late.

“What do you mean?” His face was emotionless but his whole body was stiff. Emma stared at him confused because of the sudden change.

“With what?” Emma asked, instantly crossing her arms across her chest, her mind turning defensive.

“The whole one more day and you’ll be out of my hair. What do you mean by it?” He took a step towards her, Killian’s face still impassive as she’s only even seen him while working with that annoying band at the studio and it annoys her horribly.

“Well, it’s the truth. I’m going back to Boston on Wednesday.” She replied, still not sure why he was like this.

“And just because you come back to Boston you don’t think I’ll see you again?” He asks, his tone sharp. Emma looks at him surprised as she tries her best not to roll her eyes.

“Well, let’s be honest, we probably won’t see each other anymore.” She says and hurt flashed on his eyes, an unknown sensation growing on the pit of her stomach.

“And when did you assume that? Because, I though we’ll still be… friends” Killian said the last word as if it left a bad taste on his mouth.

“I.. I didn’t think…” Great, she’s stuttering now.

“Clearly, love, you did not. I thought we have something.” He says and takes another step forward as Emma takes another backwards.

“Something? We happen to spend a few evenings together and have a good time, that doesn’t make us anything, Jones.” She says.

“How quickly you dismiss us, Swan. You’re right, it’s nothing. It’s not like I look at you like I could devour you or that you stare at me the same way sometimes when you think I’m not paying attention. Oh, right, that certainly does not happen. Another thing that doesn’t happen it’s the way you lick your lips when I’m invading your personal space, or the fact that we slept together more than once. It’s not like we freaking cuddled after I poured part of my sorrows to you. Well, fuck me, you’re right Swan, I must’ve been hallucinating the whole bloody time.” He shouts the last sentence and she holds a wince.

“And that makes us what? Soulmates? BFFs? Please Killian.” Her words are harsh and she can’t stop them as both their voices rise.

“Well, you could try something new, love, it’s called trust.” He spits.

“Trust you? Have you seen you? Playboy extraordinaire with a drinking problem?” She snorts and her heart skips a beat as she realises what she just said. Emma looks up and if  she thought that before his face was emotionless, now he’s a robot. Emma stops breathing altogether as he stares at her.

“You’re right.” He finally says. “Seems like I’ll be out of your hair and not the other way around. Wouldn’t want you to carry the weight of this drunktard playboy guy.”  Killian replies and turns around, walking quickly to the door and Emma is too stunned to do anything.

“Killian…” Emma says at the empty room, because by the time she can move, he’s already long gone.

 

 

* * *

 

 

She feels numb, and she hasn’t feel this numb in a long time. Sleep doesn’t come easily to her that night, in fact, she didn’t know if she slept at all. Her brain hurts with a loop of the words they shared yesterday and the heaviness on her chest only grows.

Emma doesn’t move from her bed till noon, she just doesn’t have the energy to do it. She fucked up, and she hates to admit that it bothers her. It shouldn’t, she tries to convince herself it shouldn’t bother her, that she shouldn’t care about him, that she’s leaving tomorrow morning and she’s not looking back, just like she’s used to do. But she can’t do it, all she wants to do is hear him laugh again and hug her just to spite her. It’s been not even a day and she misses him, she didn’t realise just how much she had gotten used to having him around to make his inappropriate comments.

Her breathing is shallow and it takes her a few minutes to realise she’s crying, Emma touches her cheeks and stares confused at the wetness on her fingertips. Why is she crying? Emma Swan didn’t cry, it just wasn’t her thing. She spent almost an hour trying to figure out why she felt like this and it scares the fuck out of her.

Did she really like him? They had spent many evenings and he was good company, it was easy to get used to having him around. Killian had a way to make her step out of her comfort zone sometimes, baby steps, like letting him hug her, flirt shamelessly… it was all very strange for Emma. With her one night stands she did flirt and touch them suggestively, but with him it just was different, more meaningful somehow. Emma sat there trying to figure him out and what place he had come to occupy in her life.

 

Emma was taking a shower when it hits her. She likes him. Emma likes Killian. Emma Swan wants him to stay on her life, which is insane. She didn’t know what kind of like it was, but she just wanted to keep him around a little longer.

Emma was out of the shower and putting some clothes before she could change her mind. Walking towards the studio the fastest she could without running like a madman, she arrived 10 minutes later. Ariel looked up as the door swung open and smiled at her.

“Hi Emma! How are you doing?” she asked.

“Good , good. Uhm, Ariel, in which studio is Killian?” Emma asked trying to catch her breath from her almost run to here. Ariel looked confused at her.

“He’s not here, he took the day off. I though he was with you, actually.”  Ariel replied and Emma felt her throat close off. What if he had taken the day off because of her? Damn it.

“Oh, okay, thank you then. We’ll talk later, Ariel!” Emma said already walking towards the door.

“Good luck.” She heard Ariel say and turned around to watch at the redhead who simply winked at her as is she knew something Emma didn’t.

 

Emma thanked all the Gods that she knew how to go to Killian’s place from the studio and luckily it wasn’t far away. The closer she got, the faster her heart started beating, her hands clenching and unclenching at the unknown prospect.

“You can do this” she whispered to herself as she stood in front of his door. Emma closed her eyes and knocked three times, trying to control her breathing. She heard noise coming from the other side of the door and something that sounded like a course, five seconds later he opened the door.

He looked like a mess. His hair pointing in different directions, bags under his eyes and a stony look on his face.

“Came to gloat, Swan?”  he asked after a few seconds of both of them staring at each other and Emma suddenly realised she hadn’t planned what to say or how to act, in her rush to get to him she didn’t think this through and all she could do now was stare at him with her mouth making an excellent impression of a fish as she tried to get some words out.  Killian looked back to the inside of his apartment with annoyance.

“What do you want, Emma?” he asked, the words managing to escape between his clenched teeth.

“I…” Emma Swan was not a person who used words, she didn’t value them as she valued actions. It had been like that all her life. Her foster parents had usually said they were going to keep her forever and then next thing she knew, Emma was back at the orphanage. Every time people would tell her something to only do the opposite later.

Emma Swan didn’t do words, so she did the only thing she did know how to do: action.

 

It took her two long strides and she was kissing him, wrapping her arms around his neck. It took him a few seconds to catch up, but when he did Killian’s arms hugged her closer to his body and damn her if the heaviness in her chest didn’t vanish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger, sorry(not really tho).  
> I've been feeling like i lost control of the story somehow and i've been fighting hard to regain it, i hope i did well. My muse just wasn't cooperating and i've pushed myself to write this chapter before continuing my other story (Check it out, hopefully you will like it too.)   
> Anyhow, thanks again for all the support and kudos i've been getting, you make me smile :)
> 
> PS: Let me know if you find typos.


	10. Way too long

One would think that after living the life of what people consider a playboy, Killian would never be in shock when a woman kisses him. They were wrong, because as Killian Jones stands utterly still on his doorstep with Emma Swan pressing her soft lips against him, he can't bring himself to move a single muscle. Hours ago, hell, minutes ago he was a brooding mess, drowning himself in self-loathe and scotch. And all because of the same woman that was now kissing him. He didn’t know the reason of this, but as he realised –finally- what was happening, he reacted.

Hugging her closer to his chest with a speed that had Emma gasping against his mouth, he took advantage and skimmed his tongue across her bottom lip, asking for permission because even in the heat of the moment and confused as fuck, he was a gentleman.  Tongues collided and the blood on his veins felt like hot lava.

Guiding them inside the apartment, he closed the door pushing Emma against it, never breaking the kiss. She put her arms around his shoulders and pulled a bit at his nape hair, making him groan. Killian could feel her smile and he couldn’t help returning it as he let his hands travel down from her hips to the back of her tights, pulling her legs so they hugged his waist. Killian kissed her jaw and nipped at the spot below her ear, storing her responsive mewl for future reference.

“As much as I love this hello, care to explain?”  He asked and leaned back a little to look at her. Her lips were swollen from the kissing, her pupils were wide, she was panting and her hair a bit of a mess. Killian quickly decided that this was her best look yet.

“Maybe you can put me down and we’ll talk?” Emma said softly as she absently moved her fingertips in circles in the nape of his hair, he was not going to lose control, he needed to know. Killian repeated that sentence like a mantra in his head.

“Oh, no. You’re trapped.” He grinned, his hands roaming over her tights while he prayed that if this was a dream, he would never wake up.

Emma looked at him like a deer in the headlights for a moment, but he continued caressing her body, slowly coaxing her to relax.

“I just… I…” she sighed, closing her eyes. Killian waited for her to open them again, giving her a peck on the corner of her lips.

“It’s okay. You can talk to me.” He said.  His thoughts went from panicked to happy, to panicked again, to confused, but he tried his best to keep his face soft, Emma seemed to be freaking out enough for both of them. Her eyes softened.

“I realised I don’t want to not see you when we get back.” She whispered.

“And you decided that the best way to communicate that was to assault me?” he said, not being able to stop the smirk that grew on his face.

“Oh yes, I can feel the way you hated it.” Emma bit her bottom lip innocently as she swayed her hips, to make contact with the very clear erection he had. Killian groaned and tightened the grip on her tights.

“Talk later?” She asked and licked her lips. Killian watched the action for a moment before leaning so their lips were barely touching.

“Definetly.” And he crashed his lips against hers, losing what little he had of control left.

 

Hands everywhere Killian hugged her tighter to his chest and muttered “Bedroom” or something that sounded like that while they were kissing.

He quickly arrived to his bedroom and he lost his balance, making them fall on the bed, catching himself before crushing her, Emma giggled before trailing open mouthed kissed from his jawline to the base of his throat, biting the edge of his collarbone.

“You’re wearing an awful lot of clothes, love.” he points out, voice deep and throaty.

“Right back at you.” She replies, pulling his t-shirt over his head and throwing it somewhere on the floor. Killian did the same with hers, revealing a simple black bra. He kissed her, slower this time, angling her head to deepen the kiss. All the daydreams he had could never compare themselves with the real deal that was Emma Swan kissing, he was sure that they could go hours like this and he would never get tired of her.

Killian kissed a trail down her neck and collarbone to the strap of her bra, slowly lowering it down her arm enough so it exposed one of her breasts. He kissed his way to her nipple, smiling at her gasp as he closed his mouth around it sucking and teasing with his mouth. Her hands tightened her grip on his hair and she rolled her hips against his, making him groan against her chest.

“Stop teasing, Jones.” Emma panted and God, did he love that sound.

“So eager” he replied. Killian brushed her breast with his fingers, teasing her and with a moan, Emma turned them on the bed so she was on top.

“Much better” she said and he couldn’t bring himself to think otherwise. Killian smoothed his hands over her back, quickly taking her bra off as Emma kissed and sucked her path down his chest.

“This need to come off, Swan.” He says trailing the edge of her denim short before squeezing her ass like he had wanted to do for several days.

“And you say I’m the eager one.”  Emma replies but takes them off nonetheless. She is a vision. Killian lets her kiss him a little more before turning them back around, keeping her legs around his waist.

“You’re beautiful.” He tells her biting her collarbone, because he wants her to know, she should know that she was driving him crazy, and that she is amazing.

“And you…” she began, trailing her hands down his back, squeezing his buttlocks “have a great ass.” Emma nipped at his earlobe, gaining another groan from him.

Killian kissed her hungrily as he rocked his hips onto her core, his hand slowly going down her stomach till he reached her panties, skimming his fingers under them to find her slit.

“I knew I’d love to make you wet for me, and love, you’re dripping.” He grinned down at her. A part of him was proud that this was her reaction to him, and another couldn’t help but laugh at his caveman thought. He let his fingers brush and tease her entrance as he bit lightly the top of her breasts, loving the way her soft moans filled the room.

“Killian, please.” Emma panted, her back arching from the bed and Killian obliged, letting a finger inside her, pumping in and out slowly, adding a second one after a few strokes, his mouth found her right nipple again as he continued his ministrations.

His thumb found its way to her clit and pressed gently but sure, he stopped her screams with his lips, matching his pace with his fingers.

“ _Please._ ” Emma moaned into his lips and he picked up his pace, now rubbing circles into her clit. Killian felt her inner walls contract against his fingers but he kept moving, slower this time, helping her ride out her orgasm.

Killian sucked on her collarbone while he waited for Emma to calm her rapid breaths, he couldn’t help but smile against her skin at the hickey he planted there, again, going all caveman like.

Emma used the grip of her legs, still twisted around Killian, to put him on his back again.

“Why are you still wearing your pants?” She simply asked and let her hands trail down his chest to unbutton his jeans, palming him through his boxers. His cock throbbed at her touch, leaving him breathless for a few seconds, and Emma had not even made skin to skin contact yet, dear Lord.

He lifted his legs a bit to help her get rid of his jeans and boxers, leaving both of them completely naked. Emma smirked at him as she leaned towards him to kiss him, her fingertips tracing his cock from base to tip, his grip on her tights tightened. Seconds later she started stroking him slowly, a torturous pace, stopping at his tip to use her thumb to spread his pre-cum.

“Emma, we’ll have time for that later, right now I just need to be inside of you.” His voice sounded strained to his ears but he couldn’t give a damn about it. “Condom in the second drawer.” He told her and watched as he pumped him twice before lifting herself off him to grab the condom.

When she came back, she opened the package with her teeth, making Killian groan in anticipation, and then rolled the condom down his length, stroking him again. He guided her back above him till his tip teased her entrance, their eyes locked, both panting.

“Ready?” he whispered, stroking her hipbones with his thumbs, rubbing soothing circles. Emma only grinned, lowering herself till he was buried inside her. They both stopped breathing at the connection, after a few seconds Killian sat up, moaning a little at the slight change of penetration.

“Move.” He urged her giving her control, as he licked a path from the base of her throat to her jawline, nipping lightly at it. Emma began moving, a moan escaping both their mouths. Emma let her forehead rest in the crook of his neck, and he could feel her rapid breathes against his skin, not able to handle it anymore; he turned them round.

Emma pouted slightly at him and he responded circling his hips, smiling as she closed the eyes at the sensation. His pace started  slow but grew messier and faster as they lost themselves in each other, her nails trailing down his back, his mouth planting open kisses everywhere he could reach. He was close.

“Come for me, Emma.” Killian said breathlessly and brought his hand between them to rub against her clit.

“Killian!” Emma screamed as her release came crashing down on her, Killian rocked into her twice, three times more and his orgasm hit him hard, making him scream throatily.

They stayed like that, Killian hovering above her calming his breathing as he kissed Emma’s neck lazily, her hands caressing his hair in the same slow pattern. He hummed at the sensation and buried his face on the crook of her neck for a while before pulling out from her, both groaning  at the sudden emptiness and discarded the condom on the trashcan he kept next to his bed.

When he turned around, he snaked an arm around Emma’s waist and brought her closer so they were chest to chest, they legs tangled.

“Hi.” He said, suddenly lost for words, nudging her nose with hers. Emma smiled softly at him.

“Hi.” She replied, her hands tracing patterns onto his back. Her eyes suddenly hardened a bit as her smile faltered. “I’m sorry, Killian. I was stupid.”

Killian hugged her closer to his chest, both of his hands on her back.

“Hey, look at me. It’s okay, you are here now. But that’s obvious, because I’m irresistible.” He smirks at her, trying to lighten the mood. Killian felt so content right now, the anger, the sadness he felt hours ago completely gone.

“I… I don’t know how to do any of this, I don’t know if I’m ready to be anything.” She said, suddenly Emma looked so little. The strong woman he knew was still there, only it was buried beneath a huge amount of insecurities. He pushed away from her face a strand of hair. “I just know that I want to keep talking to you.” She said, making him smile. He didn’t expect declarations of anything, hell, he hadn’t been expecting anything at all. This was more that he could ask for, his feelings for her unsorted as they were, he was acting on his most pure desires and he desired her, with every molecule of his being. He gave her a peck on the lips before answering.

“Emma… we don’t have to be anything. We can just be us and if we decide we want to do stuff together, then we do them, and if not… well, we just don’t. It’s simple as that. I don’t want to stop talking to you either.” He said looking straight at her, trying to make her understand.

“Okay.” She whispers.

“Okay? If I knew sex made you so agreeable I would’ve suggested it earlier.” He says and he feels her laughter in his chest, making him warm from the inside out.

“Well… you are very persuasive in that aspect.” She bites her bottom lip and Killian kisses her till he’s the one to bite it, realising he now can do this if he wants.

“Of all the times that we’ve cuddled, I like this one better.” He says and playfully skims his hand towards her tight.

“I wonder if it has something to do with the fact that we are naked.” Emma replies and kisses him lightly, smiling against his lips. “I have bad news, tho.”  She sighs and Killian backs down a bit so he can see her face more clearly.

“What’s the matter, love?”

“I leave tomorrow for Boston. My plane leaves at 11am tomorrow.” She frowns, clearly not pleased by the fact.

“Oh, you can’t.” He says and buries his face on the crook of her neck, laying Emma on her back pressing them even closer. “I won’t let you, you’re trapped here now and are not allowed to leave this bed by any means.” His voice is muffled by her skin, and he sounds so terribly needy, he doesn’t care. Killian just got her and he already has to let her go, how was this fair? Emma’s arms hug his shoulders, one hand playing with the hair in the nape of his neck. “You’re not allowed to leave, Swan.” He shook his head a little, still hiding against her skin.

“I would, but I really have to get back to work, Killian.” She hugs him tighter and he groans.

“Stay.” He whispers so lowly he’s not sure she heard. But she sighs and kisses his temple.

“When are you going to Boston?” she asks, they’re whispering and he doesn’t know why. They’re alone at his place, but this conversation and the intimacy of the way they’re pressed together seems to call for it.

“In too long. Almost two weeks.” Killian kissed the base of her throat, and collarbone before he buries his face again in her neck. _Definitely his new favourite place._ Not that he would ever admit it.

“I’d stay, I mean, not for you, but because of that great ass of yours, but I really need to work…” she tries to decrease the tension and he snorts.

“I know.” He sighs, there’s nothing he can do about it. He props himself on his forearms, so he’s hovering over her. “This means we’ll just have to make the most of our time till tomorrow.” He says innocently even as the grin that spreads on his face is anything but, his hand already wandering down her stomach.

“Oh, yeah? And how do you plan to spend it?” Emma licked her lips.

 

They made the most of their night.

 

* * *

 

The alarm woke a groaning Killian up, but his complains were short as he felt the warm body that wrapped itself around his chest. He turned off the alarm, they had less than two hours till they had to go to the airport, the thought making his chest grow cold and heavy.

Killian let his hand smooth over Emma’s waist to her tight and back, loving how she sighed and hugged him closer, her knee resting near his now hardening member. She looked so relaxed in the morning, he could get used to waking up beside her. He stopped his hands at the thought, _thinking a little ahead of ourselves, mate?_ He chastised himself. Killian couldn’t place the feeling, and if some wicked part of him did, he chose to ignore it. He just wanted to be with her, touch her, kiss her, listen to her, without thinking about anything else, thinking always made stuff complicated and as he had told her, he just wanted to _be_ ,  and be with her.

Killian resumed his exploring, as if he hadn’t done enough exploring last night. He smiled as memories came flooding back, her mewls and moans of pleasure. From this position he could see the mark he had left on her collarbone… and on her hipbone. Not that she hadn’t done the same, he couldn’t see them, but he was pretty sure his back was sporting several nail scratches and on his ribs a hickey. He liked it.

He pressed his lips against hers in a soft kiss.

“Morning, beautiful.” He said and Emma hummed, not yet opening her eyes. Killian moved them so she was on her back and he settled between her legs, pressing his erection against her core making her moan. He tugged at her earlobe before trailing  kissed from neck to breast lazily, the morning sun softly illuminating the room.

“Killian.” She gasped, her voice still rough with sleep as he sucked on her right nipple, making him groan, his tongue teasing her. Emma tugged at his hair, bringing him down for a bruising kiss, her hips rocking against his erection, he hissed at the contact. His patience already running short, Killian let his fingertips roam down her stomach before cupping her sex, he swallowed her moan with a kiss, loving how vocal she could be.

His fingertips brushed her clit before pressing down gently, making her hips rise from the bed, he pressed her further with this weight, keeping her in place. He growled when he found her already wet.

“Just fuck me, Killian.” She panted, opening her green eyes to look at him, and he was done for. Quickly he grabbed a condom from the bedside drawer, thank God he always made sure to have some at reach and rolled it down himself before gently pushing inside of her. His tip teasing her entrance when she whimpered, he immediately stopped.

“Are you okay?” concern in his voice.

“Just a little sore.” She replied, rolling her eyes when a smug grin appeared on his face. Killian kissed her slowly as he entered her in the same manner, trying to be gentle.

The pace remained slow, barely sliding out of her before thrusting back in. Killian grabbed the hands that were on his back before intertwining their fingers, placing them above her head.

“Faster.” She said and he responded with a hard thrust, her moans filled the room. He let go of one of her hands to press on her clit.

“Let go, Emma.” Their eyes locked together as they fell apart. He dropped onto his side so he wouldn’t crush her. He forced himself to move and throw the condom. He laid on his back when he felt her hand on his chest.

“That was a great good morning.” She said, smiling. Killian chuckled and grabbed her hand lacing their fingers together.

“Indeed it was, love. I bet breakfast would make it even better.” He replied and Emma’s stomach grumbled, making him laugh.

“We can stop by granny’s on our way to my apartment.” Killian could see Emma carefully avoiding the word airport or anything mildly related.

“Deal. I’ll go take a shower.” He said before grinning wickedly. “You can join me, I promise to be good.”

 

He totally lied.

 

* * *

 

 

A hot shower  -and not necessarily because of the water temperature- later, they grabbed a quick breakfast at granny’s before heading to her apartment. They walked through the park, Killian stopped them at the bridge to kiss her, not wanting to reach her place just yet. He knew they were on a schedule, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop.

 

Other than that kiss, they didn’t touch much more than usual. Granted, before last night, they had found themselves walking with his hand on her lower back, so to Killian, it didn’t count as a change. The one thing that did change, was her reaction, he could sense Emma leaning back towards him when usually she would simply not acknowledge the contact.

 

Luckily for them, Emma had packed most of her stuff, so they made a quick job packing her cameras and some things she had laying around. When he finished he hugged her from behind, they had been silent for a while now, knowing when they talked, reality would come crashing down on them.

“Hey.” He said. A day with Emma Swan and he had already found himself lost for words twice. She turned in his embrace, lacing her fingers on the back of his neck, gently stroking. Killian turned his face to the side, pressing a kiss to her wrist.  They looked into each other’s eyes before she reached out to kiss him. It wasn’t hungry, it was calm and slow, he nipped at her bottom lip before leaning back.

“We have to get going.” She simply said with a tiny smile and disentangled from his arms, needing distance. He gave it to her, in part because he needed it too.

 

The ride to the airport was quiet. Killian helped take her suitcase and once they dropped it, he walked next to her, their hands clasped together till they reached security. He could walk with her no further than this, and Killian couldn’t stop the ache that grew on his chest. They stopped and silently, he closed his arms around her, putting his head on the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent. He felt stupid, but he knew he would miss her, even if it only was for a week and a half.

“I don’t do goodbyes.” She whispered, her breath hot next to his ear.

“Good, because this isn’t one.” He replied, his voice low. Emma leaned back to press a hard kiss against his lips, their tongues dancing together. She ended the kiss with a sweet peck before finally stepping away. Killian looked into her green eyes, forcing himself to remember the exact shade of them.

“There won’t be a day that I won’t think of you, you know.” He said, suddenly feeling too heavy. “Or that ass of yours.” He winked, clearly trying to lift some pressure from his last words, if Emma noticed the lack of real innuendo, she didn’t show. A slow smile spreading on her face.

“Good.” She said, looking at him a bit more before turning away without looking back.

 

Killian made his way back home feeling that a week and a half was too damn long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to dedicate this chapter to "aninternetfriend" because she's awesome. 
> 
> Now... i'm back! Kinda. I've been studying for my finals, and at the end of the day my muse didn't appear on my sleepy mind, it was just chaos. I'm sorry. But i have more free time now and i needed my dosis of CS fluff, hope you did too. Now the M rating has a reasoooooooooon, yay (I was actually really nervous because it's my first time writing smut.)   
> Anyhow, hope you liked it. See any mistakes? let me know. Will try to update soon.  
> <3


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